The worst part is that I cannot go to a doctor like this. Whenever I describe what is going on I can't help but express my anger towards the medical system. I always feel like they give up on me, or make an assumption about me too soon, and after that, anything I say would be taken out of context, written in their transcripts, and on and on goes the soap opera. I feel like the more I go for help, the worse things get.
All of the psych meds I am supposed to take just plain suck! I was having seizures. Sleepwalking. Digestion problems, Blackouts- tons and tons of blackouts by taking the prescribed amount. Seriously. Some of them made me really really paranoid. If I included the list of all of the psych meds I have been on....jeez. My friends are suprised I am not dead. Please help me do something. I am not stupid, I am not crazy, and I am not a drug addict. I will move anywhere I will do anything to help this. I had to move to CA from MN because the cold was too painful. This runs my life, and no matter what I do I can't make it better. I lost 35 lbs. in the last month. I exercise constantly to try and create painkilling endorphins, and I am naturally a super lazy person. I will do anything to make this manageable. I want a life.
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