THE PAIN OF LIFE

TODAY IS A DAY TO WHINE AND I GIVE MYSELF THE PERMISSION TO COMPLAIN. I AM FINDING IT HARD TO WRITE FOR EVERY WORD, EVERY SENTENCE, IS BLURRED. LONG AGO I USED TO HIDE ALL THE PAIN WITHIN MY SOUL AND THE CONSEQUENCES WERE TRAGIC .

I DID NOT WAKE UNTIL 10:00AM, I DID NOT SLEEP BECAUSE I WAS TIRED, BUT BECAUSE THE PAIN IN MY BODY WAS TOO MUCH TO BEAR. I HAVE ACCEPTED THAT PAIN WILL BE A WAY OF LIFE. IT IS DURING THE FIBRO FLARES THAT I GET DISCOURAGED. I COULD UNDERSTAND PAIN IN MY FIBRO POINTS, BUT THE PAIN HAS SPREAD TO MUSCLES, HANDS, FEET AND JOINTS.

I WILL GET PAST TODAY AND HOPE TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY. BUT IN MY HEART OF HEARTS I KNOW IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GUESS. IF I DID NOT HAVE MY FAMILY AND AS MUCH LOVE IN MY LIFE, I DO NOT THINK I COULD MAKE IT THROUGH THESE DAYS.

SO FOR THOSE OF US INFLICTED BY DISEASE HOLD FAST TO THE LOVE AND SUPPORT SYSTEM YOU HOPEFULLY HAVE. FOR GOODNESS SAKE DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP IF YOU ARE FLARING, ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL.

KAT UPDIKE

5-02-07