HOLIDAYS

KAT UPDIKE

11-25-08

I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS, THEY SEEM TO BRING THE BEST OUT OF PEOPLE. EVERY YEAR I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING MY KIDS AND OF COURSE MY GRANDCHILDREN. THERE LITTLE FACES ARE BRIGHT WITH EXCITEMENT AND ANTICIPATION. MY THOUGHTS GO BACK TO A MORE GENTLE TIME WHEN I LOOKED AT THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS WITH JOY.

IT SEEMS MY MIND STILL FINDS THIS PLACE HIDDEN SOME WHERE AMONG THE FIBRO CLOUDS. I TRY TO PREPARE MYSELF SHOPPING ALL YEAR SO I DON'T HAVE TO RUN TO BLACK FRIDAY SALES WERE PUSHING AND SHOVING IS MORE ABUNDANT THEN THE SALE ITEMS.

I REST TWO OR THREE DAYS PRIER TO MY TRIP REALIZING MY OBSESSIVE COMPULSION DISORDER WILL OVERWHELM ME. MY NEED TO MAKE EVERYTHING PERFECT TAKES OVER AND I BASICALLY WILL NOT SLOW DOWN UNTIL I CRASH AND BURN.

MY FIBROMYLIGA WILL FLARE AFTER A DAY OR TWO. THE DEPRESSION OF MY PREDICAMENT WILL REAR ITS UGLY HEAD AND I BECOME ANGRY WITH MYSELF. I WANT TO EXPERIENCE THE SEASON AND I FEEL SORRY THAT MY BODY CAN NOT ACCOMPLISH WHAT MY MIND WANTS IT TO DO.

I STILL LOVE THE HOLIDAYS AND ALL THOUGH MY DISEASE TEMPERS MY ENJOYMENT I WILL NOT GIVE UP. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SURRENDER THE PLEASURES OF THE SEASON, BESIDES WHEN I RETURN HOME I CAN ALWAYS GO TO BED FOR TWO OR THREE DAYS. THE RECUPERATION MAY TAKE A WHILE BUT THE JOY THAT LIES IN MY HEART WILL STRENGTHEN ME.