Too young to die!

I already feel like I am dead half the time.  I try to take care of three kids, and one is just a baby. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of hurting and what is so **** frustrating is that when there is something wrong that doctors can fix half the time they don't want to because of the chronic pain.  I tried to call my doctor last week to get back on an anti-depressant and the nurse never bothered to call back after I left the voice mail telling them what was going on.  No doctors want to treat me for the chronic pain because I am so young.  So tell me my friends what am I suppose to do.  I am too young to die and have 3 kids to think about. Even though half the time I wonder if they wouldn't be better off without me.  What kind of a mother am I, I can't even play with my kids most of the time.  The ultram just isn't cutting it any more and my doctor doesn't want to try anything else because of my age.  I've done the shots and every other thing the thousands of doctors had me try.  So if you have a clue let me know.