Tuesday, January 08, 2008
I already feel like I am dead half the time. I try to take care of three kids, and one is just a baby. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of hurting and what is so **** frustrating is that when there is something wrong that doctors can fix half the time they don't want to because of the chronic pain. I tried to call my doctor last week to get back on an anti-depressant and the nurse never bothered to call back after I left the voice mail telling them what was going on. No doctors want to treat me for the chronic pain because I am so young. So tell me my friends what am I suppose to do. I am too young to die and have 3 kids to think about. Even though half the time I wonder if they wouldn't be better off without me. What kind of a mother am I, I can't even play with my kids most of the time. The ultram just isn't cutting it any more and my doctor doesn't want to try anything else because of my age. I've done the shots and every other thing the thousands of doctors had me try. So if you have a clue let me know.
I am a new reader to these posts and ran across your post...I just had to comment.
First of all, you are not alone. There are quite a few people out here that can write the same posting almost word for word.
I know how frustrating it can be, especially if you are living with chronic pain at a young age. How old are you? You mention the doctors won't do anything due to your age.
I really need to give you some of my background for understanding. I have always been very healthy. My mother did not LET us get sick. Basicly, we did not see a doctor unless there was blood or bone showing through! A little extreme, but you get the picture. My first experience with a doctor was my first pregnancy. I never took even an aspirin for a headache.
Since I have been 40yrs old, I have been diagnosed with hypo-thyroid disease, mitro-valve prolapse (heart murmur), rheumatiod arthritis, osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia. I have had 5 levels of disc fusion in my neck and lower back due to degreneration of disc. I have just recently had surgery of the carotid artery for blockage and still have one side that is 85% blocked. I am only 50yrs old.
I am giving you this to show you that I do know chronic pain. I also raised two children through the early years as a single parent, I know how that can be...
I can tell you, I spent one year on the pain patch, Duragesic. While it did not take the pain completely away, it did make it tolerable and I could do the things I wanted to do. But, due to the narcotic effect, I was not 100% together as I am now. I have stopped taking it.
I know right now it seems no one understands, but believe me, I do. I am very frustrated at not being able to do the things I used to do. I am a very strong person who could do anything, now I can't even put my pants on without sitting on something. It also seems like the more you try to get the doctors to listen, the more frustrated you get.
There is only one thing that has helped me and it may help you. It may sound crazy, but meditation can help chronic pain. With the stress of pain, comes more pain. When you can learn to go into a deep relaxation, it helps to melt the pain away.
Please let me know if you are interested. If you have a cd player with ear phones...I have a present for you!
Please email me at chloeev@msn.com