Help, Please?

I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas about who I could go to for a pain specialist. My arthritis doc will refer me but I don't know where to go that won't make me do the shot's again. They were painful and they didn't help. I know I am young and too young to have an 80year old body but that is why I need help. My 4 year old wants to be just like her mommy, and I can't have that. Explanation, She was sitting at her little table the other day and threw something in her mouth to a drink and tilted her head back I said what are you doing, She say's Im taking my medicine like you mommy, I want to be just like you when I grow up. After I got upset and yelled a little trying to make sure she didn't really take anything, she was pretending, I went to the bathroom and cried for a very long time. I just really think I would be doing them a favor if I weren't here. I have no help, my husband is a cop and works all the time and is very tired when he is at home and I am always scared he will finally get sick of it and leave.  Not that he doesn't love me he does but I can hear and feel the resentment coming out. If there is something out there that helps why can't It be used. I know that the patch can be dangerous but the main thing is abuse and some people laid out in the sun with them and cause them to soak into the skin alot more. I want quality of life I don't want to be druged out so why would I abuse it and frankly I don't know how you could a patch anyway but that is besides the point. If I wanted to abuse them I wouldn't be going to a doctor, you can buy that kind of thing on the street. I go to a doctor because I want help living. So if anyone has any Idea what I am going through can you help me out. I want a doctor that listens and actually cares about their patients and helping them get some kind of quality of life back and that is not worried about drug abusers because frankly I don't see them going to a doctor when you can buy them on the street. I mean I know it happens some because my mother, and two aunts are nurses but when there is physical proof that a patient is in pain why can't they help.  Again sorry I made this out to be about me when I didn't mean for it to it just keeps popping in my mind, and that If I don't get help soon my daughters may have to look to their dad for everything.