Day to dat EX-istance

That is not a spelling mistake in the title, but a very deliberate belief that I am an EX. An EX worker (a Teacher in fact). An Ex Bread winner, an Ex member of the Human race. In fact just an EX....

That is one reason why it is so nice to come across a site like this one. However as  Brit I still feel somewhat out of it and so isolated. My waking hours seem to be spent sitting by myself and wandering if I will ever get any quality back into my life. I want to do things, but I can't. I make a start, but I'm stopped most times. The latest is that I am waiting for an intrathecal pump to be fitted. I hope it works, but I'm also worried about the op. and the after, in particular. But I know I can't stand the thought of all those drugs and the after effects that are making my life so miserable. By 7 at night all I want to is sleep. The laugh is that sometimes I'm even too tired for that. I was thinking about starting a poll, to see who has had their pain for the longest, but I suspect that I might 'WIN' that competition. That thought just depresses me yet again.

Hello! Is there any one out there?