Frustration with the one I Love

By PhiltheNelson Sunday, August 31, 2008

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I love beyond reason my lovely Wife. However she does not understand my problems. She thinks she does and she tries very hard, but even as a very well qualified Nurse, she does not. I need help to dress, to propell my wheelchair, to get in and out of cars, buildings etc. That is OK. I get the help and assistance needed. But that could come from almost anyone. However I have discovered a further handicap. I have a very badly bitten tongue. Due mainly to my Wifes embarressment. I do not worry any more about 'bumping' into the able bodied moron who tries very hard to not see the 'cripple'. I get very frustrated with the 'Nice' person who answers my questions by talking to my wife. I get annoyed with the changes made to a building, that make it even harder to get around (Why not try it yourself in a chair and you would soon learn, you designer idiot). I get frustrated by the fast moving foot traffic that just has to get in front of the wheel chair, in case you get stuck. It is just like the car rushing to get in front of the caravan. I get frustrated by the able bodied walking on the smooth foot path and causing me to be on the rough gravelled area (Great for the pain). The inconsiderate idiot that is parked in the handicapped bay, I want to park over the back of his car to prevent him escaping.

I have decided that I would like to improve my chair with one or two of the following. A 120 db PA system. A set of very bright and directional (right in the face) 1,000,000 candel headlights. But the best improvement would be the rotating knives on the wheels like those on the Chariots of Boudicca and her chums. Plus, don't forget, the Cow guard at the front, so that when my Wife pushes in the slightly wrong direct, my feet don't get the brunt, but that boring man in the Super-Market, who ignores me and pushes in front gets it instead. In fact a coupla nice High Voltage prongs would help.

All in all it would be a nice way to make me feel better, and a way to spread the 'JOY' of pain around a bit!

I'm glad I got that off my chest, because when I throw my head back and scream, My dear Wife thinks that something is wrong in my idealistic ex-sistance. I am not criticising her at all, it is just that without the experience yourself, you just cannot understand.

But you who are reading this self centred diatribe will understand!

Do you want to put your bit in as well? What is the main frustration that you come across? maybe I should start a list of the most frustrating things in the life of a Chronic Pain devotee. (Please laugh as it is better than crying again)

Love to my fellow Pain adherents.

Being a drug addict.

Comments (2) | Add comment

tjhelser

8/31/08 8:11pm

I have a huge problem with the fact that my illnes is hidden from people's eyes. Because I don't have a visable illness even the people who are the closest to me don't get that I cannot keep up with them.

Because to most I do not look sick.

I am so tired of having to explain why I cannot go to the quilt show. see a movie, or go shopping with a friend. My explanations must becoming so redundant to friends & Family, to the poin that I almost want to just withdraw completely from the community I live in and stay inside where I am safe from having to explain yet another time. It gets real old fro me so I know it has to be for those that love me as well.

I wan to scream at them, "would you understand and not be o pushy if I had a huge tumor on my forhead God forbid and no offense intended)that reads I am sick, leave me be!"

Thanks, I needed that !

PhiltheNelson

9/ 1/08 4:29am

I went to a Camping and Caravan shop with the boss yesterday to look at some new Awnings. The shop has been 'upgraded', e.g. it has been given a sparkle to get the Wallets/purses in.

The Fun started in the car park. 4 Blue bays for Cripples like yours truely. One was free, hoorah! One was occupied by a young family, without a permit, one was occupied by a fellow Cripple (Hello) and the last one was occupied by a flash two seater worth lots of money and you wouldn't want to park it beside the plebs who may just damage your pride and joy so why not park it by the Cripples as they can't do anything to you if they complain, as they're 'CRIPPLES!'

Yes I was starting to get just a slight amount of annoyance.

The shop enterance was good. I used to be able to get in and out quite easily in my wheelchair. I would like to just say, THANK YOU for the really well thought out security doors and gates with those nice little lips on the ground that make wheelchair access a real pain. So why not put these devices in as many places as possible. Oh! They have, how wonderful.

Outside is even better. Let's make the area around which the people 'WALK' nice and comfortable under foot. The area that you go around to see the new and second hand tents, caravans and RV's is covered in a really pleasent Play material. Soft bark pieces that make movement on wheels almost impossible. Actually thats not true, if you tip the chair and pull it backwards after you, then it's quite easy, but only if the chair occupant is a two year old child. The 230 pound Cripple, however, is a slightly different story.

So far the inside and the outside are just a pain for me and my legs (Wife in other words). But never mind as the area with the Awnings used to be so easy to get too and move around. But someone had a really bright idea. They relocated the section we wanted to see, to its own specialised area and sales team. the area just happened to be upstairs and guess what. No lift. BTW if you buy an awning you have to carry it down stairs as the nice people who work there are not allowed, due to risk assessment problems. (Phil thinks - How the PHOTON do the awnings get there in the first place?)

I would like to propose a cure for all of the evils and ills of this sort of thing. How about getting together with as large a number of crips as possible. Once a month we pick a place like this and all descend at the same time. What could they do? We could all demand help and assistance. Block the car park completely, ask for help to get to the awnings section, have massive lines to the toilets. Block the access points with the impossible lips on the floor that cause your chair to get stuck and I won't even mention how blocked the car park would be, especially around the two seater car in the handicapped parking bay. Hope the car doesn't get accidentally damaged. (BTW we found out that this car belonged to a staff member)

Just to finish - When ever anyone asks me how I am, I cause upset. You should try it. When spoken too at first meeting, it goes something like this.

New Person/Friend/Stranger/(Family member who should know better) - Hello (Phil) How's things/how are you/etc???

Phil - I'm as fit as a CRIPPLE thank you! And you?

Makes people stop and think! Hey maybe that is the reason that people don't talk to me, but talk to my wheelchair engine instead! Never thought of that before. After all I am no longer a member of the Human Race.

Me - Homo Cripellitus. Everyone else - Homo Superior. (At least that seams to be what they think.

Frustration with the one I Love

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