Stacy came for a visit last week. It was her first time back since moving to San Francisco several months ago. You might have noticed that I didn't say that she came "home." Things have changed dramatically in such a short time. Since her diagnosis of TMJ Disorder and subsequent chronic pain, Stacy has experimented with leaving the nest on several occasions, but returned for varying reasons... more surgery, the pain was not tolerable, she needed to be closer to her team of docs. This time it was different; she woke up one morning and said "I am moving to San Francisco".... and that is exactly what she did--she went home.

I would like to say that her life is now perfect, but it isn't. Learning to really incorporate chronic pain into your life is tough at best. But for Stacy it is even harder; I did everything for her these past two years. Laundry, cooking, cleaning--I did it all. She is doing it on her own now and loving every minute of it. Stacy is busy developing a network of friends, and learning to let them into her life of chronic pain. She is also building a medical team (something she never did with her other moves). There is a downside to all of this... I miss her! And as much as I hate to admit it, I miss the bond we had when she needed me. I know she still needs me, but not in the same way. Please understand that I also know in my heart that this is for the best.

So, you might want to know how her visit went. I stocked the kitchen with all of her favorite foods, bought the required new jammies, and had her favorite beech sheets on her bed. (ask her about them). We just sort of picked up where we left off, but with some major changes. Stacy was more alive, more animated, you could say that she was more involved in her own life. WOW!!! As the week wore on I could see us falling into the same routines, and honestly I don't think either of us liked it. By the time the week was over, I was ready for her to leave, and she was ready to go "home"... and that's ok!

Sometimes you are ready to toss your children out of the nest, sometimes they just need a little nudge, and sometimes they wake up one morning and tell you "I am going home"... and so they do!

Candy