Information and opinions on ChronicPainConnection from Candy Franks http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337 en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/ http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/13370/home Sat Sep 15 15:38:00 -0400 2007 Candy Franks Stacy came for a visit last week. It was her first time back since moving to San Francisco several months ago. You might have noticed that I didn't say that she came "home." Things have changed dramatically in such a short time. Since her diagnosis of TMJ Disorder and subsequent chronic pain, Stacy has experimented with leaving the nest on several occasions, but returned for varying reasons... more surgery, the pain was not... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/13370/home http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/12820/pain-friend Fri Aug 31 15:40:00 -0400 2007 Candy Franks Today at work I met a woman who suffers from chronic pain. Two total strangers with a common bond. I think we were both starved for someone to talk to, and could have gone on all day. We had a very interesting conversation about how it affects our lives. She as a sufferer, me as a caregiver.  We both agreed that one of the most difficult aspects was getting people in the medical community to understand the difference between someone in real... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/12820/pain-friend http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/12608/dont-mess Tue Aug 21 16:23:00 -0400 2007 Candy Franks I was thinking today about how nice it is to have this forum where we can offer each other the kind of support that we so desperately need. Dealing with chronic pain is so difficult, and even though we love our families, the frustration of trying to explain something that is so foreign to them causes us even more pain. I am a Mother tiger (a title that I wear proudly), so my claws tend to come out when I see someone treating Stacy in a way... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/12608/dont-mess http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/12081/lost-grip Tue Aug 14 11:49:00 -0400 2007 Candy Franks I feel that I have to address the issue of isolation again, and some other gripes...LOL. Temporarily isolation may not be a bad thing as it shows that we are really listening to ourselves and honoring our needs.  But I believe that there must be some kind of balance. As human beings, we have a need for human companionship, but sometimes it becomes too painful to be around "normal" people, so we tend to distance ourselves. A couple... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/12081/lost-grip http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/11361/isolation Sat Jul 14 22:37:01 -0400 2007 Candy Franks Sooner or later the call was going to come, and tonight I got the call. Stacy is in San Francisco, I am in Atlanta, her pain is out of control and there is nothing I can do to help. She worries that her new love will not understand, and he will be frightened by the fact that she needs to go to the ER. It breaks my heart that I can't be there to help. Being at the other end of a phone line just isn't the same as being at the other end of... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/11361/isolation http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/11040/lets-kill Mon Jul 09 11:40:00 -0400 2007 Candy Franks I enjoy reading the various posts in this forum, most of the time they are very informative, sometimes gut wrenching, but always well intended. So, you can imagine my dismay when I saw that one such well intended entry elicited so much anger and hostility. We certainly can all benefit from the experience of others, without resorting to the "kill the messenger" mentality. This is a community of support, and as such we are not here to... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/11040/lets-kill http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10802/leaving-nest Mon Jul 02 11:33:00 -0400 2007 Candy Franks As most of you know by now, my daughter Stacy has moved to San Francisco.  She has always been a bit of a bohemian, so it is a perfect place for her.  She loves the city, and it has been her dream to move back there.  Moving was quite an ordeal because Stacy is a charter member of the procrastinators club, and I am the queen of organization.  I promised my husband that I would NOT help her pack, she was on her own, and I... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10802/leaving-nest http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10690/communication Sun Jun 24 17:14:01 -0400 2007 Candy Franks We moved around a lot when my children were young.  In many ways it was very good for them, they were quick to make friends, and had a very close relationship with each other.  It was somewhere between high school and the onset of chronic pain that I started to notice a change.  Their father was not what I would call a hands on parent, and I watched them struggle for his attention.  As Stacy's medical needs escalated so... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10690/communication http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10527/define Mon Jun 18 16:53:01 -0400 2007 Candy Franks Sometimes I get funny looks when I use the word "caregiver" in reference to my role in Stacy's life.  Perhaps there is a more fitting word that describes what I do, and I just have not found it yet.  Yesterday a co-worker said to me "but you don't have to dress and feed her do you?  so how are you her caregiver?"   If she had an hour or two I might have been able to explain all the ways that I "care" for... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10527/define http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10120/view-side Mon Jun 11 17:53:00 -0400 2007 Candy Franks I had an interesting dialogue with myself this morning about Chronic Pain.   I wonder exactly when chronic pain became an accepted part of our lives? People often ask me how on earth I handle it.  My answer is very simple.  I handle it because I have to.  There are certainly are days when I just want to pull the covers over my head and pretend that life is "normal."  But then I realize that for us,... http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/4337/10120/view-side