Not coping with Physical and Mental Pain is a character defect.

By Skye Thursday, March 04, 2010

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I feel so shamed and weak by the way I have been talked to by medical professionals whom I have gone to recently who have told me "calling more than 1x per week to ask questions "raises re flags" about addiction", "hospital director and DEA won't allow us to give pain meds for pre-existing conditions so I can't even exam or access you","my hands are tied by the law" ...(I was not whining or demanding) I can't even continue thinking about this I feel so BAD or CRAZY! Why do they judge us when they have no idea of some of the emotional/physical experiences we have survived? Some of the histories I read in here make me think that we are lightning rods to gather up many jolts in life to keep others from being hit. Now my husband is starting to have some serious health problems and I can barely care for myself. I am afraid and feel so alone right now. Turn down prescribing pain meds, if you must docs, but don't verbally grind me into the ground.

So much pain but I had to laugh!

Comments (4) | Add comment

c21tamit

3/ 4/10 3:44pm

Sounds like you are having a really difficult time. It's hard to understand why Doctors can't take time to deal with our questions. I would recommend trying to get friendly with one of the staff. It doesn't always work, but when I was going through a difficult pregnancy, there was a nurse that I was able to talk to. It is nice finding someone else on the other end of the line that you can share your concerns with. I wish we could find that in more Dr's offices. I would also see if you have a visiting nurses assoc. in your area. They can send someone over to help you & your husband. They do more than just "nursing". They can help prepare meals, clean, laundry, shopping. Check with your local senior center also. You may not be over that age, but they usually will make adjustments for those with disabilities. Also, see if there is a teenager in your area that you can have "work" for you. Many parents are in tight spots giving their kids those little extras. Maybe you could find one that would be willing to come in & help you out with chores. Check with your local High School. Many have programs including Key Club, that require theykids do community service.

I hope that you are able to find some help so that you don't have to shoulder the burden alone.

BobinmidMO

3/ 5/10 11:21am

First, I'm so sorry that you're pain levels are at a level where your life quality is going down the drain, and all because of pain. No one should suffer with pain, so when I read your comment, I just wanted to let you know a little better why doctor's act the way they do.

When you call a doctor once a week over your on-going pain, this is considered a red flag as far as their concerned. Are you taking your medications as prescribed or are you going through your medications faster than the instructions listed on the bottle? If you're running out of medications before you're suppose to, then most doctor's will be concerned about addiction. Please know, I'm not, but that the doctors will be.

Anytime you're on narcotics or any other kind of pain medication, the situation is not only about how much pain you're advising the doctor of, but also about everything the doctor can see with his own eyes. For example, when a person is in severe pain, the heart rate is always a bit faster, you can appear more flushed red in the face and even your skin temp will change. Because these are symptoms that you cannot control, the doctor always pays very close attention to these other things about you. When you're asked what your pain level is between 1 and 10, and you say, you're at a level 9 or 10, then you better be either passing out, vomiting or have your eyes crossed because the pain is so bad. Over-stating your pain only makes the doctor have doubt, it will never improve the odds of him taking what you have to say seriously.

I know you're suffering, but I'm afriad that you might not be handling your relationships as effectively as you need to. If you're calling once a week, then there better be a really valid reason why, for example the damage is so much worse and the situation has changed regarding your health condition. If you're calling just because you need more medications, then I'm sorry to say, the doctor will put you on the list of chronic complainers, even though I know that's not really who you are at all.

Don't understate the street value of your medications either. With medication being abused by so many, and with the value of them increasing daily, when you ask for more medications before you're suppose to get them, most doctors will be afraid that you're selling them instead of actually using them. In other words, the bad people have made it so much harder on those like you and me who really do suffer daily with pain - but like it or not, these are the facts we'll never change.

One last note: Did you know that over 97% of those who live in chronic pain rarely take as much pain medication as they're prescribed? The reason is because, those who suffer really bad, are always scared of tomorrow, so we have the tendency to hoard them just in case it gets "really" bad. I have never once not had more medication than what I was suppose to have on hand, and even though I've taken pain medication for over 11 years, I've never once run out. When a doctor sees a patient running out of medications sooner than they should, the doctor will always be scared that there are more problems going on. Your doctor is held legally accountable for every prescription he writes out, so he'd better be able to justify why he's prescribing what he is - to whom he is before the medical board. In many cases, I've seen doctors who are more than willing to let their patients suffer, before they're willing to take the chances of being investigated over the amount of pain medication they're prescribing. This is morally wrong, but nevertheless the truth. We can't change it, I'm sorry to say.

Remember your association with your doctor is actually a relationship that can either grow or be hurt over time. When a doctor gets to know you very well, and knows he can trust you, then some of the problems you're talking about will go away, but when you're first starting out, ALL doctors will always be very careful with their prescription pads. It's only after they get to know how responsible of a person you really are, that they'll help you out even during your darkest hour. Take care, Bob.

Skye

3/ 5/10 10:42pm

Sorry you did not understand. This is a new clinic that I have been going through assessments and testing because recent increase in nerve pain with degenerative spine, OA, fibromyalgia etc. and no one had given me my MRI results or a date when I could see the doctor. I am currently not on ANY narcotic medication as I had been trying to manage without until this new damage/pain started. I have been "hanging in there" for 4 months, being told there are VALID test results to show I need medication. I am an RN and know how doctors and nurses respond,and a pain patient long enough not to be "needy" or demanding. Thank you for trying to "help me" but I DO know the truth regarding my situation.

BobinmidMO

3/ 6/10 9:27pm

I hope I didn't offend you, please that was never my intent. You know better than most how doctor's think, so I should never have said anything.

I hope your pain is managed better, and yes I do think that doctors are scared to death at times to write out the scripts necessary to really help at times, just because they're afraid. You need not hurt like you are, that's for sure. Take care, Bob.

Not coping with Physical and Mental Pain is a character defect.

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