My doctor advised me that I had a herneiated disc in my neck and would most likely need surgery. He realized my dislike of surgical intervention and suggested I continue with treatment I currently was on until I felt the need for surgery and he referred me to a surgeon. By early 2003, I caved and found that I had bone spurring causing damage to my spinal cord. The surgery lasted over 4 hours and upon coming out of anesthesia, I was in a metal neck brace and in extreme pain. I did heal from the surgery, however, shortly thereafter I began to have lancing pain and burning down my right arm.
In mid 2004, I was diagnosed with severe herniation at C2/3 and 3/4 and was required to undergo another fusion, this time of 2 levels. Resulting in my neck being virtually one large fusion. I felt somewhat lucky as I was able to turn my neck with some restriction to the left. I continued to suffer from severe back, neck, hip and now leg pain. In addition to all the surgical difficulties, I was diagnosed with Lupus (and its accompanying autoimmune disorder) and fibromyalgia in 2004. With these added difficulties, my health spiraled downward over the next year. When it became obvious that I would have to undergo another fusion of my spine, my husband and I moved up our wedding date to allow for the added health insurance benefits.
In September 2005, my husband and I had a beautiful wedding. In March 2006, I underwent another fusion in my lumbar spine. The surgeon for this fusion advised that my spine was in very poor condition and he felt it would only continue to detiorate. It was his suggestion that I quit work and apply for social security at that time. I refused to even consider the option. I never healed from this final fusion of my spine. The pain and weakness in my back, hips and legs continued to worsen. I even spent 6 months in Nevada hoping the warmer climate would assist with my detiorating spine. It only temporarely helped.
When December 2006 came around, I was totally disabled. I returned to Oregon in December 2006 and applied for the dreaded social security. By the time I received my acceptance and social security benefits, my husband and I lost our house, car and filed for bankruptcy. I could not believe that I had to fight so hard to obtain something I had spent years fighting against having to obtain, but which was rightfully mine. I have worked since I was 13 years old and have paid into the government with every paycheck since that time, yet I was forced into losing everything we had due to the lenght of the fight to obtain those benefits.
Now, at age 45 I am disabled permanently with a deteriorating spine, I have gained 60 lbs and have daily battles with excessive pain. I am on 8 different medications and recently had an interfusion pain pump placed in my body with the hope it will give me relief and allow me to get off of all the narcotic medication I have been on for the past 7 years. I am a fighter as anyone can see, but my fight is quickly burning out. I am very tired and simply worn out. I miss working and bringing home a good paycheck. I feel worthless and lost much of the time and, yet, I am one of the lucky ones. I have an understanding (most of the time) husband and wonderful doctors. Yet there are times when I can only cry and feel pain and loss. Still, I fight on with the hope that some day I will find some relief from the constant disabling pain. I want to be able to go for a walk on the beach or in the woods with my husband again, I want to go camping in the summer with him, I just want some of my life back. I have never been one to feel sorry for myself and yet, sometimes I have to wonder if I am doing just that.
and I ended up with my Pugoodle. Right now, he's still learning his obediance and social skills, it's been a slower than normal process with my being disabled and I'm sure you know how I we can have troubles with keeping any type of schedule. If I could get my pain more consistently controlled, I'd sign us up for a class and If I had some $$ (Unable to work) I send him to a trainer for a month or so. But He's a really neat dog and defineately One of A Kind! LOL My husband & I just love him, he's a great dog. Both his parents are part of our pack here at home. He's a really happy, but odd looking fella.
I would of though a pain pump would be simple?? Not so! HHHMMMMMM. I hope your able to get it taken care of, so you don't have to worry for a month or how ever long it is?
Vickie
It certainly sounds like you've really been through it all. You must be an amazing woman to of survived all that you've been through.
I think most everyone here thats been forced into the disability process has gone through your same feelings. I'm in the waiting period for my hearing right now too.
I sincerely hope that you will join in with us where every you feel comfortable. Thank you for sharing your story with us, it's helps us to know what's gone on with your life and how you became a chronic pain patient.
Welcome to the Chronic Pain Connection and I hope we can be of some support for you too.
Take Care, it's a plesure to meet you!
Betty
Hi Betty:
Thank you so much for your comment. I suppose part of my difficulty is I was raised believing that I must stand on my own two feet no matter what. My husband has been a great help in dispelling that belief to some degree. I must admit that there are days that I simply feel that it's all been just too much to deal with, but I always seem to pull myself up by the boot straps and sally forth so to speak.
The disability process is very discouraging in my opinion. I have been advised by attorney friends that I was a fast case and reached the end decision quickly, yet it certainly did not feel that way with all we lost in the process. I applied, was denied, applied for a reconsideration with yet again all my medical support and then I received it. That simple two step process took almost a year. We just were not prepared for that type of disaster at my age.
I do have some light at the end of the tunnel. I have a great pain specialist that has implanted an interthecal pain pump, which basically is implanted in my side and has a tube that runs around my body and into my spinal cord. It delivers pain meds constantly into my spinal cord. Yesterday was the first time since its implantation that the delivery rate of medication was raised and I actually felt some relief. I am hopeful it will control the chronic pain to some degree.
Although I will never be able to perform my usual pasttimes or go back to work, I should be able to live day to day without being in screaming pain. Yeah for the good doctors.
It's a pleasure to meet you. Take care.
Vickie