I have been a member of this board for several months and I have found a lot of support here—however, have I crossed the line with how close I’ve gotten with my virtual family here on this board?
First, my group of friends started using MSN Instant Messenger for group chats which was both a source of support and a fun thing to do to divert ourselves from our inner conflicts that people with chronic pain are all too familiar with. I thought that since IM’g was working so well, then why not take it to the next level? My idea of the next level is video-conferencing—however, the MSN messenger doesn’t lend itself to more than 2 people at a time, so I’ve had one-on-one virtual face-to-face conversations.
I’ve had several video-conferences so far … one was with a male friend on the board, and three or so was with a female friend. I realize that I am a married man with kids but I cannot have the same type of discussions with my spouse that I do with someone else who has chronic pain. With that being said, is there something wrong with what I did?
Right now, the video-conferencing with a real good friend has created a whole debate with my wife that entered into our most recent marriage counseling session. My wife claims to have no objections to me video-chatting with a female friend but claims that her only objection is that I was doing this in the bedroom, since that’s where the computer is located. Her suggestion was to take the conversation out of the bedroom and into the living room or dining room by me using a laptop … is my wife truly being honest? … I think so BUT is she really being completely honest?
The true test would be for me to get a cheap webcam and hook it onto my laptop, since the built-in webcam is incompatible with the MSN program. The problem is that both my friend and I are stressing out over the situation. Stopping the stress is more important at the moment than continuing with the video-chatting—however, I was finding a lot of support with that technology which I don’t get with blogging (or texting).
Any thoughts on the issue would be appreciated.
hey buddy - i want to say that while i see nothing wrong with speaking with others in the same boat , it really helps , especially when you can see the honesty in someone's reactions ..
i don't think giving it a second thought and taking your wife's words that moving the chats out of the bedroom are okay .. only time will tell if it truly bothers her .. right ?
as a member of the forum, and others , I chat with both male and female, I however don't have someone that may be effected by this in my life right now , that could miscontrue "freindship and commonality" with a "relationship" ..
I hope you continue to set up your webcam and get back to chatting with whomever you wish .. and as one who knows , we all need people around that can absolutely relate to our pain .. I hope you get some other positive comments and , I must say, it is awefully brave of you to post this for our viw=ewing and consideration ..
Your friend,
Adrian