Life with Pain

kimberly Community Member March 14, 2010
  • Hello my name is Tiffany I have been dealing with chronic pain since 2003 I have had three operations two back surgeries and one neck surgery my doctor wanted me to have surgery on my hands due to having carpal tunnel syndrome.I have tmj also.I can honestly say that pain has almost ruined my life. I guess I am reaching out because no one else understands the fact that I need to take pain mediation on a daily basis I am especially talking about my one daughter that,s 18 and she has a little one that is 18 months old she treatens me all of the time about this problem that I have in my life. I am disabled and I recieve a check and I also have a son that,s 10 and a nother daughter that is 4 years old. My oldest daughter has pushed me out of my own home it,s not in my name it,so it was easy for her.She calls me names  and puts me down in the ground for having this condition.I have to move out of the state to start over, leaving my doctors,surgeons. I feel depressed and alone and I want to give up sometimes.

7 Comments
  • Scooter
    May. 17, 2010

    I shouldn't be surprized anymore about the way people treat us. We certainly didn't ask to be in pain all the time. I wouldn't take meds if I didn't have to. I lost numerous friends due to the fact that I have to take narcotics. It still is hard for me to believe how judgemental people are. I guarentee evey single person who has judged us would take meds...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I shouldn't be surprized anymore about the way people treat us. We certainly didn't ask to be in pain all the time. I wouldn't take meds if I didn't have to. I lost numerous friends due to the fact that I have to take narcotics. It still is hard for me to believe how judgemental people are. I guarentee evey single person who has judged us would take meds if they felt as bad as we do. Putting up with chronic pain is hard enough without having to deal with poor treatment fom others. We are all here for you.   Scooter

  • olympia
    Apr. 15, 2010

    Hello Kimberly

     Iam new to ths site, but not new to chronic servere pain.I have RSV and bracial plexi to my left side due to an injury at work, Iam also a nurse, my injury happen will I was helping a patient.Your story saddens me. I PRAY at this time that you read this that your situation is improved for you. Its very hard to explain to someone about...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Hello Kimberly

     Iam new to ths site, but not new to chronic servere pain.I have RSV and bracial plexi to my left side due to an injury at work, Iam also a nurse, my injury happen will I was helping a patient.Your story saddens me. I PRAY at this time that you read this that your situation is improved for you. Its very hard to explain to someone about pain, the scale the give us as a nurse I feel does not apply to us due to we live day to day with chronic pain.Please reach out to a support group and allow others to get involed to help you, as mothers we feel we have to do it all or else we feel we have falled, as personal expereance I was the do it all!! work 12hrs shifts 4 days a week and keep an excellent home no one could do it better than me, I thought.. until my injury i had to learn to let others help out, I FELT usless as I laid in bed,asking the question why me and how much longer.you are a person in need so seek the help,and allow our heavenly father for the direction of path to put you in a loving enviroment.Sincerly Olympia

  • simpliewen
    Mar. 23, 2010

    Kimberly, I have to make this quick because I am in pain, but I raised 3 boys and a husband with fibromyalgia in a 30 year marriage. None of them believed me-only my mother. My husband once asked me if I had a doctors note. Two of my younger boys were bipolar and suicidal in their teens. I spent many a night talking to them and begging them not to kill themselves....

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Kimberly, I have to make this quick because I am in pain, but I raised 3 boys and a husband with fibromyalgia in a 30 year marriage. None of them believed me-only my mother. My husband once asked me if I had a doctors note. Two of my younger boys were bipolar and suicidal in their teens. I spent many a night talking to them and begging them not to kill themselves. I couldn't find good help so I decided I had to get them through it myself. My middle son now calls me "The Drama Queen" , has my only grand-daugher and hasn't spoken to me in 5 years. They live 15 minutes away and we also haven't seen our grand-daughter. It went around the family that I was hooked on drugs and crazy, which was not true. A doctor once told me to not me a martur and take the medicine if I need it. I am on SS Disability , after I left my husband for 3 years, he now believes me. And OH! I have a pain pump in my belly that goes up my spine and drips fentanyl 24/7. It has been a year and we are on our third medication and I am still sleeping in a recliner. I am on two different antidepressents and my wonderful, oldest son,just left for Iraq.

     

    HOW MANY OF US ARE OUT THERE WHO DON'T HAVE THE SUPPORT OF OUR FAMILY?!!! I am lucky I had my Mother. She has been my champion my whole life.

     

    I am so sorry for you. I wish I could reach our and give you a hug. You must have someone in your life who can help you. If not, I know a church will. Please know you are on my mind. I read these stories can't believe the pain people are living with. I feel so alone sometimes.

    W.

  • Anonymous
    yucca13
    Mar. 16, 2010
    Hi Tiffany, After reading your post, I wanted to tell you that it makes me sad that there are adult children that do not feel any empathy for their mother's chronic pain. I have daughters that wrote this me: "You just want everyone to feel sorry for you." I guess they wanted me to feel guilty for sharing my pain problems at times. I would never have told them...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Hi Tiffany, After reading your post, I wanted to tell you that it makes me sad that there are adult children that do not feel any empathy for their mother's chronic pain. I have daughters that wrote this me: "You just want everyone to feel sorry for you." I guess they wanted me to feel guilty for sharing my pain problems at times. I would never have told them anything if I had known how they felt. People with chronic pain did not ask for or cause the condition. In your case, I am sure that it is difficult to care for your younger children. Your older daughter should be helping you, not criticizing you! Sometimes I wish that unfeeling people could live a day or two in our bodies and feel what it is like to put up with unending pain. There are no guarantees in life, so hope that someday they may also have pain. I hope that you are able to relocate and enjoy a new life in a different location. Don't let your daughter's ignorant comments get you down! Val
  • John
    Mar. 15, 2010

    Kimberly,

     

    First and for most I am sorry to hear of the situation that you are in. I know that it is hard to deal with family and how much it can get you down. I am sure that you do not deserve any of it and that it is extremely hard to understand why this is happening to you. I am sure that you hae run the senerio through your mind over and over till...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Kimberly,

     

    First and for most I am sorry to hear of the situation that you are in. I know that it is hard to deal with family and how much it can get you down. I am sure that you do not deserve any of it and that it is extremely hard to understand why this is happening to you. I am sure that you hae run the senerio through your mind over and over till you feel sick. We can not figure out what makes people do or think what they do nor can we stop them from thinking or doing what they have in mind. I will tell you from experence that it is better to move on and consentate on you and your health. Expelling all that engry and effort on the situation is harming you and your health in so many ways. I am sure that your pain levels have gone up and that it is causing you to take more meds. I myself have had chronic pain now for the pat 6 years and have had eight back surgeries and have been on pain meds from day one. I have gone through family issues and still listen to comments about me taking meds and addiction. I have heard that I am looking for the easy way out and that I should grin and ear it and get back to living a normal life. I have heard what are you going to do when you come off the meds even after explaining that it is unlikely that I will ever come off the meds.

    I want you to know that you are not alone and that you need to do what is right for you. You can not worry about others and what they will think or feel you are the one who is important. If you feel that you have a leagal right that is being violated then you should seek legal asst.

     

  • Ozigal
    Mar. 15, 2010

    Dear Kimberly

    You must be a very strong woman coping as you are with such complex health and living conditions while raising two children at home.

     

    I am writing to you from Australia and live with the pain of Fibromyalgia dailly. I too have lost so much due to this illness. I have difficulty walking due to severe pain in my back, hips and knees as well...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Dear Kimberly

    You must be a very strong woman coping as you are with such complex health and living conditions while raising two children at home.

     

    I am writing to you from Australia and live with the pain of Fibromyalgia dailly. I too have lost so much due to this illness. I have difficulty walking due to severe pain in my back, hips and knees as well as fatiguing muscles that refuse to move after a few minutes.

     

    To make matters worse, before I was diagnosed I agreed to move to another state because of my husbands work and have no family here.  What I have found extremely helpful has been to join a support group with others facing the same hurdles as I. We chat online and help each other through the rough patches, it is wonderful to have this ability and now I don't complain too much to my hubby after getting it off my chest online.

     

    Another wonderful benefit has been to realize that one member and I live just a short walk from each other so now I have a much needed companion that fully understands what pain I am in and the challenges I face. My husband is very sweet and supportive but he is so busy with his work I'd rather discuss the good stuff with him and just enjoy our being together when he finally gets home.

     

    I'm sorry that you are having problems with your daughters not being supportive, that must be extremely painful for you. You should not feel guilty for taking medication prescribed to you, you wouldn't be given it if it were not needed.

    You talk about starting over but is this the wisest step you can take? You may not find the quality of health care you are currently receiving, also it would mean a huge disruption to the children, new school, new friends etc.

     

    Please reach out for help, ie support groups, volunteer networks, church etc. it would be disastrous if you kept pushing yourself only to have a breakdown.

    You may be surprised how many people out there would help out if they knew the circumstances you are in. I for one would be happy to chat with you if you thought it might be worthwhile. The time difference can be a hassle.

     

    When all seems lost sometimes all we need is an arm around our shoulders and the knowing that somebody gives a damn .

    I wish you all the best and good luck as you move forward to re-organize your life. So please, please, please. Enlist the help that you deserve....    Toni

  • Marion
    Mar. 15, 2010

    How can she make you leave your own home?  Call the cops and give her a taste of her own medicine - that is ridiculous.  There are many of us who live with pain every minute of every day and have to take pain medication several times a day just to have any decency of life at all.  It sucks, it's bullshit and we sure didn't ask for this crap! ...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    How can she make you leave your own home?  Call the cops and give her a taste of her own medicine - that is ridiculous.  There are many of us who live with pain every minute of every day and have to take pain medication several times a day just to have any decency of life at all.  It sucks, it's bullshit and we sure didn't ask for this crap!  It does destroy your life.  I don't have much of a support system either, but they at least deal with it.  I feel bad for you, you should not have to leave your home.  What is her reasoning for that???