I've Cancelled My Morphine Pump Trial

Dear shmirly,

I did just go back and read your bio and again and I am feeling even more "SoBlest" than ever to know that my pain and condition is never as bad as someone else's.  Also, I feel SoBlest to know that someone else is praying for me.  You have so much to deal with and have such a positive outlook.  I know why of course...your stenghth comes from our dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.  I just hope that others who read this and don't know Him, can somehow see the strenghth that we have in Him to get through this pain and ordeal.  That strenght can help them as well.   You also need to read and communicate with "Betty Boop" (there is more to her name but I can't think of it right now!).  She also loves the Lord and will pray for you as well. 

Your husband sounds like a wonderful, devoted man.  I know though at times, that I worry about my husband getting tired of me hurting but he is always there for me...always.  I don't know what I would do without him either.

In regard to your pump, it sounds like you need to find out more information and this is a wonderful site to do that.  I have decided that it wasn't for me because the risks do not outweigh the benefits I was seeking.  I was only seeking the pump to help alleviate my severe constipation issues.  If i got better pain relief, that would have been nice, but everyone tells me that my constipation issues will probably not be resolved.  Getting the pump for me only a "maybe" is not worth it.  Have you visited the "Medtronics" website?  You can get a lot of info there as well if that is the company doing your pump.  Since I am not getting one, I am not the best source to inform you.

I will keep you and your daughters in my prayers as you fight this horrible disease and your other ailments.  It is a shame that these things exhist in our world.  Just know that there ARE others out there praying for YOU.

SoBlest

so blest

thanks for the comments!!! i actually look forward to coming home and logging on to the site to see if there is anything new to read. You are 100% correct as far as my strength. the funny part is this - i never realized where i was getting my strength and positive attitude (i am known as an upbeet person who always has a smile). i would always say "that's just my personality"' i was not raised in a church, in fact, it wasn't until recently that i accepted Jesus into my life. The weekend before Christmas, my husband, myself and my 2 daughters were baptized together as a family in our friends pool! It was so amazing! My girls are just as positive as i am, and people always comment on their happiness and smiles. now that we know where our strength comes from, we can focus on it and draw even more.  I have done a lot of research on the pump and i have visited the medtronics site - it took me several months to make this decision, and right now i feel good about it. thanks again for the comments - and i will try and connect with betty - i need to figure out how.  talk with you soon-

god bless

kelliann

Dear shmirly,

WOW! What a story you have!  I accepted Christ at a young age (13) but I think it is much more impacting as an adult.  I wanted to be immersed though so I did so as an adult at age 28 (I am now 47).  I was raised in the Methodist Church but always believed more like Baptists in that it was important to show others your faith in Christ by being baptized after you accepted Christ.  The fact that you did it in a pool is neat.  A fellow member of the church and I wanted to go to the river but we never got it set up that far.  Maybe you had God's strength in you all along.  You just didn't know it.  He was always there for you.  You just answered that knock on the door.

As far as finding "Betty Boop Too", I think that you can enter "Betty Boop Too" in the search menu on the top right hand side of Chonic Connection's home page.  Be sure to put her name in quotes.  When I tried this, it worked.  It brought up a list of items with her name in it.  The first one took me to her profile.  You should be able to navigate it from there.  She is very sweet and you will enjoy communicating with her.

I am glad you are peace with your decision about the pump.  I am at peace for NOT doing the pump.  We each have to do what we feel is best for ourselves.  You are exactly right about the research.  My doctors did NOT give me enough information and I had to be my own advocate and do it myself.  I don't know what people do who don't have the intelligence and stamina to fight for themselves.  They are the ones who truly suffer.  As Betty pointed out to me, thank God for the gift of discernment.  It is a wonderful gift.  Others call it a "gut" feeling.  Call it what you want but I know that I have listened to answered prayer and I am at peace with my decision.  Am I still in pain? Yes.  I always will be.  My hip and back hurt like you know what and my left leg is numb as I type this but I live with this every day.  It is what it is.  I know that one day I will have a new body in Heaven.  Others are much worse off than me and I will use this pain to somehow glorify God.  I haven't found a way yet but I am still searching on that one!

God bless you shmirly...write me anytime

SoBlest