Hope and Help go hand in hand,without each other I am stuck in HEll

HELP,i am needing help,I have Hope ,Help will arrive,but am mistaken again and again.  Often I get "MY HOPE" up ,and see a new fresh Doctor.ONLY to be given No HELP.again I am in HELL with MYSELF,while all the Hope is gone...HOW many more times can a person suffering be so hopelesly STUCK IN HELL?

Why I ask am I allways not getting  HELP?

well I have a idea,and prehaps it is a majior part.....

I just am understanding the extent of my learning/communication disabilitys.

so ..maybe I have HOPE still??

NO I doubt it,I "unerstanding my explainations for my delimas and pain,made sure this time I had a list,my films and a cohesive plan,that was right to the point....

well I went to the Fasiatrist,and  she was a young blue eyed blond,that was full of herself,and I was imediatly discounted by her.

I felt the placateing statements the  Statements she made were retorical and verbatim of what I have heard before..

Hemangeomias dont cause pain,Thet thing"cysy at T2 is not in your Lung,But I cant be sure with out a ct scan,and Mri,I hand her both,well,I say you have no spine/no lung problems with these tummors and cysts!

I am HElpless,and hope for something still"so I statrt asking ??s and  she answers them all the same as had been answered before...a systematic ,body attacking its self thing,and it is in my blood??

and  that I need to see another doc,a arthritus,or what ever....

Fibromyalgia?

NO! MY spine kills me,NOT MUSSCLEs,MY LUNGS CAN BREATH<AND THEIR is a CYST that

I have been told should be biopsied,and Is NOT In MY LUNG BY LUNG DOC

YET IS IS ACCORDING to spine doc.

I am in HELL.and now after my dad ,him dyeing,Oct 31,2006,and me wittnessing his tourture,for 6 MONTHS I am ruiened,

I was attracted to the Holland sedation and uthinasia,spelling is not my forte"

BUT THAT IS WHAT ATTRActed me to come back here and say a word or 2.

I am suffering

I have built up a tolerance to my pain meds and am in withdrwal often! even though I take the same ammount for 7 yrs..

I am in pain and I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE
I WANT OUT

BUT I AM AFARIAD
I SUFFER MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY

I WAN OUT
I WANT FREEDOM FROM PAIN AND
FREEDOME FROM *** HOLE DOCS THAT DONT HEAR ME

I later got the report from that fasitrist!

THE REPORT that would go to my primary doc

THAT DAMM *****<SAID I CLAIMED TO BE NUMB ABD ITCHEY ALL OVER!!!!

WHAT A LIAR!

I HAVE A AREA ON MY UPER RIGHT BACK THAT IS NUMB AND WEIRDLY  ITCHEY My spine pain is hell

I cant do dishes,anything it is a stabing pich,in the spine,not the musscel burn that I have had before

IT IS BAD

and My neck gets fizzes up the right side

and to top it all off,and all this is besides MY orignial cheiff complaints of neck and jaw and headaches!

my right HIP and but cheek kill me...

OH PLEASE some one where is MY HOPE? HELP

i look like my mother ,in london last week