WHo am I" water color of undecided self

....ever do I change...and allways will"""ONE DAY the next      day,Yesterday,Today,I will be who I am and when I am    me I will be changeing...pain changes who(me) you are from  morning untill night      impulsivity(and anger,frustration ).''.surges from every drop  of my self....,I envey people who have masted self control  

and listening....dont expect those from me...             I      am    ... changeing... right now,........I am trying...so  Dont approach me with a expectation,   Judge me not...

and understand " I can wish for  control,I can hope for a change,I can pray for  SOMETHING"    I will only get what  HE assigns for my needs....GOD will give me what I need... HE knows better THAN EVEN YOU MY FRIEND.....and I will be myself.                                                                       My LOGS are Heavy...My Burden Equal....................  so dont dam me,................for who I am,,,

because I am trying.................                            

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Pain can be used as a weapon,a crutch,and escape, a excuse to get high...why oh why ........dosen t anyone get it

In there minds they find every excuse for ME in their BOOK? Havent I suffered enough?

Why cant people so very close see how much hell I feel?..........................................

Is it so hard to accept?......................................................................................

is this why they make so many reasons for me to be sitting,and speaking.

I would rather sit bymyself.........................................................................

I will die lonley I just know it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!