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This is a really sensitive issue, and should probably be handled through private messaging (if I can find out how it works!) but if anyone can help, has ideas, etc.
First, I want to say that my boyfriend is a sweetheart and I am very, very lucky to have him in my life. We'd been dating less than a year when these problems started and he's never been anything less than supportive. Besides the medical issues he's an angel in so many other ways. I got lucky when he came around.
My problem is that I feel like I'm not "there" for him in private, know what I mean? As much as he seems okay with it, I'm sure there are times that it's tough for him to deal with. My problem is that I'm afraid I'll do myself more damage. I mean, the whole thing started because of a sneeze. If a sneeze could cause ten years of problems, two operations, then of course I'm a bit nervous about other things!
Does anyone maybe know any ways around this?
Thanks everybody, I know it's a weird question
I think it's great you asked for help, It;s not anything o get around it if you really love this man he knows you are there for him. This is a one day at a time approach meaning if you keep worrying about the future it will keep bothering you. I am a person who has chronic pain and I am also a care giver to my wife who when I met her she was healthy, she was working at walmart and her shoulder started to bother her and her neck, then she started to get headaches and she for some unknown reason got IBS too. We were engaged for 2 years and got married 2 months ago. We both believe in god and have learned to take every day as it comes and i is not easy some days as I am sure you know. It takes a strong person and love to take it as it comes one day at a time. I would not want to be with anyone else other than my wife and it looks like you feel the same about your boyfriend. All you can do is be there and listen and also he should in urn be able to listen to your problems, good communication is key both ways and we never know even if we will wake up tomorrow so it really is a day to day life for both of you. The future may hold good things too try to keep an open mind and keep asking questions. Lately for us I just got back to a medication for pain hat works on me and it took 3 years to get back on it. I have a never give up approach to life but I get down too some days we are only human . I hope this helps a little and I think you caring enough to ask questions is great.
RJ & Judy
Thank you so much for your reply. This is why I love this site. It's hard to find people who understand.
I'm trying to go one day at a time. I could wake up one day and feel great, and the next morning have trouble getting out of bed. There's no way to tell if it's going to be a good day or not until I wake up.
My meds work okay which is good. My only worry is that if we're "together" I'm afraid I'll get hurt. It's happened before so now I worry before it even starts. As much as he says it doesn't matter, I know it does sometimes, because he's asked me a few times if it's him. I reassure him as best I can but I know it's somewhere in the back of his mind all the time.
I've never once worried that he'll leave me over that. I just want a normal "private" life.
i have been in chronic pain for 19 years and married for 40!...i find that there is a very close relationship between pleasure and pain....get real focused and go for it!!
good luck
i have been in chronic pain for 19 years and married for 40!...i find that there is a very close relationship between pleasure and pain....get real focused and go for it!!
good luck