I awoke no longer me.
And years since I can't believe
I am yet this lesser me.
It cannot be.
A dream, I say
It's just a dream.
I'm traveling in some world unseen.
I will awaken and will be
the person I once knew as me.
But years have passed
and I, the same, drift
in this strange trespass.
How can it last?
I fear I cannot hope to grieve
for the person who once was me.
She must exist in some sweet place.
Is this not still the same face
I hold bravely to the world?
I am the same!
But, I know not true
this exclamation defiant, holding,
cradling, remnants of who I was.
I fear enfolding
upon myself in pain and grief.
Thus I lie to find relief.
And lying never was my way.
And yet I lie to hide away
this sense of loss and disbelief.
I cannot come to hold this grief.
It is immense.
It is too huge.
I hide myself in subterfuge.

Kathleen Bryant  2-06