Art and Pain

 In 2001 I was diagonised with Fibro myalgia.  In the past 7 years  I have moved from New Hampshire to Arizona to get away from the cold and humidity. I have been on many different drugs, for pain and depression. Some made me  into a zombie and the side affects, included weight gain, blurred vision, inability to talk or think straight. Today I am very careful of what drugs I am taking. My depression became so severe I had thoughts of suicide and needed to be hospitalized.  My world as I knew it changed drastically. I had to give up a career, because of the pain. I still had two teenage children to support, and the worry of how I was going pay bills, rent, ins, utitilities, food, car, gnawed on me constantly. I went through all my savings, and had to turn to the state for help. The stress just flared the pain. To find some peace I took up my paintbrushes and started to draw and paint again. I had always done artwork, though on a limited scale. I found when I sat down and began to work on a piece, My mind focused on art, it was like being in a bubble and my worries did not touch me. My art helped me realize that not all was lost, and to be Thank-ful for all I still had. My children, family, friends, an ability to create beauty. My sanity returned, yes I had problems and pain, but by having a more postive attitude I could deal.