Fibromyalgia/Stigma of Good and Bad Hours

I wish to explain more about my perspective of the stigma of fibromyalgia.  It seems as if the stigma exists no matter what state the FM patient happens to be in at any given time.  We are not allowed to be sick.  Yet we are also not allowed to have good days or hours without the stigma.  Of course, I have my good and bad hours no matter what.  I attempt to make the miserable hours less noticeable,  though they seem to be visible at times.

The good days and hours are nothing less than what is considered to be lucky.  We are lucky when the FM beast decides to subside somewhat due to our medications, the weather or whatever reason FM decides to wax and wane.  However, I know that people can see me in those hours and think to themselves "Nothing can be wrong with her, she acts just like me today"?  As I walk normal, talk normal, smile, have no grimaces, I am in some state of thankfulness.  However, the stigma shall follow.  What I tend to wonder is why is it that even cancer patients are allowed to have good days and still be believed?  Yet, the FM patient is not allowed such in that they are assumed to be very healthy.  Afterall, how could I be ill at all with a chronic disease which only rears its ugly head when it chooses?

I most certainly am not implying that I ever want cancer.  I am also thankful every single day that I do not have cancer.  However, my disease is very cruel and very real.  We live with this illness for the entire life span with its unpredictable swings of symptoms.  Perhaps the symptom swings are part of the reason many of us are not believed.  Can I blame someone for not believing me?  Yes and no.  Yes, because this invisible monster has taken over my life and made me unable to plan any function or outing with knowing I will be able to attend.  I cannot plan a shopping trip, cannot plan to attend my daughter's school functions, or plan on doing much of anything except staying home all I can.  The minute I plan, I do not know if I can follow through.  Then again, no, I don't blame people at times for not believing something so unpredictable especially when they see my almost "normal" hours.  I am also insulted that anyone could doubt my very character. 

Of course, then the bad days come along.  The days I can barely move.  The days and nights when I hurt all over and am stiff as the tin man.  As I shuffle along, especially in the mornings, I am visibly either making this up or it is real.  It is real.  I can assure you of that.  Yet, the hard to believe part is that perhaps last night before bed I acted as normal as any healthy person.  Therefore, the thoughts of some would be "She was just fine yesterday, how in the world could she be acting like she is dying now"?

The cancer patient gets cheers on the good days.  People think and say "Wow, she is having a good day, how wonderful that the cancer is not painful right now".  Yet, with FM, a good day is simply another way of people accusing us of not having a valid physical illness.