Difficult

By Stormcarver Wednesday, September 26, 2007

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After such a good day, plugging back into the living, it feels like...I look at the weather and see that it's going to rain tomorrow. It's not like I didn't know that a few hours ago. My joints are great barometers.

I try not to dread tomorrow. I have things that must be done, including an appointment with our daughter's teacher. But I know it will be hard to get out of bed and I can't stop tears from coming to my eyes.

It's supposed to rain Thursday, too. Two days. I may not be able to work on my current project by tomorrow night, if things go as they usually do. Trying to work stone down to paper-thinness with swollen knuckles and shaking fingers just doesn't happen.

I refuse to become depressed. I will find a way around whatever my body and the weather are going to throw at me. I will try like hell to not anticipate. And I will play that song until I am sick of it, if I have to.

I used to love the rain. I am going to make a supreme effort to enjoy it again in the next couple of days, even if only for a few minutes, looking at the sky, droplets on my face...remembering.

Comments (5) | Add comment

beakerless

9/26/07 10:31am

I have always loved hyacinths and when I am feeling the loss of those things I once was able to do this is a poem I go back to.

If of thy mortal goods thou art bereft,
And from thy slender store two loaves alone to thee are left,
Sell one, and with the dole
Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul.

Moslih Eddin

Stormcarver

9/26/07 10:13pm

beakerless,

That is beautiful. I can see why it's inspirational to you. I appreciate too that you gave the poet's name. Am gonna have to explore others of his works.

Thank you!

beakerless

9/26/07 10:30pm

Look up Rumi too.......

A STAR WITHOUT A NAME
- Rumi

When a baby is taken from the wet nurse,
it easily forgets her
and starts eating solid food.

Seeds feed awhile on ground,
then lift up into the sun.

So you should taste the filtered light
and work your way toward wisdom
with no personal covering.

That's how you came here,
like a star without a name.
Move across the night sky
with those anonymous lights.

bzmomkfor

9/26/07 1:21pm

I always loved summer rain storms in California, I try to enjoy them here in Oregon as well, but they're a bit more chilly. The weather & having to move despite it can be overwhelming. Hang in there. I've been further delving into your website & artgallary, My God you are talented beyond words!! As my Russian friend would say, "I am at your knees". How did you teach yourself to sculpt? Is it a gift you always had? Stone roses?!!! I wrote a piece called the stone butterfly on my blog site, it may be in archives now, but, heavens your work is just amazing, I am smiling & in awe despite my own aches n pains this morning exploring your talents! Thank you for such a pleasant distraction, I hope you find a pleasant distraction of your own too. Wishing you less pain, less rain & a good week. ~k ps love the poem in the other comment as well.

Stormcarver

9/26/07 10:20pm

We all have our own forms of expression. That mine can give you a smile makes it all worth it.

How did I teach myself to carve? That should make you laugh. Prior to my first accident, I had always wanted to carve, but each time I tried, I would cut myself terribly and bleed everywhere!

After the first accident, there was such restriction of circulation to extremities due to muscular issues that a small oops one day showed that I didn't bleed! Bad in many ways, but great for learning to carve, lol! My twisted little mind related this fact to me and I sat down with a couple of simple exacto blades and a Native American courting flute kit. The result was horrible but taught me alot about technique.

For quite a while, I did a lot of relief carving, exploring what was possible and feeding my own eccentricities. I am something of a perfectionist and have always enjoyed pushing myself and limits. With carving, this works well. What can I do? What can the material do?

It was relief roses on a stone box lid that pushed me to 3-dimensional carving. Wahoo! There are so few limits left, and I am looking for them. It keeps me sane, and helps me work past the pain most days.

On days that things don't work well enough to start carving, I have recently found clay.

Thanks so much. I don't tend to take compliments well. As I said before, if what I do gives you a smile, then it's all worth it. 8)

Difficult

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