Yet more pitfalls of chronic illness & pain

1. I am someone who loves to help others.  It is very difficult for me however to ask others for help, yet this is something I've had to learn to do.

2. I hate conflict & generally feel like a burdon to my family & they get grumpy doing what they feel like I should be doing, after all- I'm in bed a LOT, how could I be tired?  I don't do much (ok I don't do any) exercisiing.  Why should they have to help-they've had full & exhausting days, so things mound up until I have the energy to do them.

3.  Everyone else in the family feels like they are doing everything & I am doing nothing.

Results: My husband finally had it with everything & left me & the kids: 8, 7 & 4 1/2.  My 18 yr old son is leaving for college in 1 week. My 17 yr old daughter resents me / hates me, I'm told this is a normal teen girl thing but I still feel impossibly responsible somehow.

So, I'm all alone, dependant on human services & waiting for my ssd/ssi hearing. 

The good that's come of this is that I am learning I can do a bit more than I was, despite the pain, because I have to, there is no one else to help me & I don't want my children to suffer more than they are.  I even now kill my own spiders & reach things perched up high.  It is sad that I'm sure I'm just 1 in a myriad of family statistics who are being destroyed (families  destroyed I mean) due to chronic illness.