I don't know how to begin a new life. I have lost so much of what defined me as a person.

In l995 I had C4/5 and C5/6 fused.  Now I have nerve pain at C3/4, C5/6 and C6/7 and a lumbar disk (can't remember which one)  I have spinal stenosis  I am in pain most of the time.  I don't work anymore as a secretary because it caused me too much pain.  I do have a disability pension.  I have just been diagnosed with M.S.  I don't want to think about it because I don't want that worry in my life.  I was a portrait artist and I loved it.  I had to stop drawing (my first love) because my pain got in the way.

My biggest problem is that I don't know how to put my life back together.  I can't find anything that interests me other than t.v.  I have isolated myself.  I am now the woman who stays at home watching t.v. all the time.  I force myself to do housework and cook meals (all of which gives me no joy.  I have nothing that I can do that makes me feel good about myself.  I desparately need some advice and a new direction that I can feel good about. I have many things in my life that I am grateful for.  Does MS take away creativity? or do I need to change my anti depressants?  All of the new ones make me really hot so I sit in a cold house with the fan blowing on my all of the time.  Does anyone have any answers or suggestions for me?  Desparately seeking new direction.