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hang in there
Stacy Stone
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 02:57 PMre: hang in there
formonemedic
Wednesday, December 26, 2007 at 11:09 AMStacy,
Thank You for not only reading but responding to my post. It's nice to know that there are people out there who care!!
It was after a lot of discussion that he finally agreed to premarital counselling. Not because he is opposed to getting counselling but he felt that my reasons were misguided, if you will. He has always and I'm positive will always tell me that he loves me for being me. That I am his best friend, soon to be his wife not defined by a disease but by who I am and how i life the life I have to live. He fell in love with me knowing how sick I was and is confident that he can handle anything else that this chronic and degenerative disease will through at us. I guess because being sick has caused me to loose or be forced to give up so much that I am afraid that someday that I will loose him also. That he will grow to resent me.
Anyway, enough whining for me today. Please let me know when your particle is published and send me the link if you know it.
I would really love to keep this dialogue with you open as i am quite isolated and have no one to openly talk to about being in constant pain. If it's not feasible for you I completely understand.
I wish You and Your Family All the Best in 2008!
Cheers,
Andrea
re: re: hang in there
Stacy Stone
Wednesday, December 26, 2007 at 12:51 PMHi Andrea,
Hopefully I will have more time to respond to your post a little later today, but for now I wanted to point you to my SharePost about guilt. Since it wasn't featured on the homepage as of yet, very few people have read it.. but personally I think so many will identify with what I say. Anyway, take a look.. it is here: http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/109/16087/guilt-pain/
re: re: re: hang in there
formonemedic
Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 10:25 AMThanks for directing me to your post. It sometimes take another to remind us that the universe does not revolve around ourselves. It's also nice to know that I am not in this alone, at least not any more. I really am grateful for your reaching out to me. I am still struggling with "guilt", only the causes just seemed to be increasing. I think the most important life skill that I could gain at this point ion time would the be the ability to deal with it in a constructive manner. Instead of internalizing it and ultimately giving myself a panic attack or a sleepless night. Either way I look forward to chatting with you further about this, if you have the chance.
Cheers
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Letting go of Guilt
maddolphinsue
Saturday, December 29, 2007 at 01:11 AMI definetly understand what you are going through. I had the same conversation with my fiancee, but the only difference is I have a 10 year old son, Some days it's very hard because, I can't do things he wants me to do with him,and that hurts me and him! There's days that I don't know how I would make it with out him, he keeps me going! Hang in there!
re: Letting go of Guilt
formonemedic
Sunday, January 06, 2008 at 04:45 AMThank You so much for your support and for reaching out to me. Chronic ain is so isolating because we can't always do all the things we want to and with who woe would like to them with. So when a fabuloius man, such as my finace, comes into my life I am frightened that someday I will end up being too much of aburden to him. I worry about whether or not my body can tolerate a pregnacy, let alone care for a child. Like you I worry that I won't be ab;e to interact, play with or go on outtings with my children.
We have decided to go for pre-marital counselling so that we can get eveerything out on the table, so to speak.
Thanks again for your much needed and appreciated "Pep" talk!!
Cheers
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It is great that you have opened the line of communication with your fiancee. I think it is really important for our significant others to know and at least try to understand what we go through every day.
I also think that it is so smart of you to go and get premarital counseling. Not because I think that your relationship won't work out, but because with the added stresses of chronic pain, come some different and difficult issues. It is always best to put everything on the table beforehand and deal with it rather than shoving it in the closet to deal with later.
It's funny because I have a post on guilt coming up very soon. I hope you will read it, perhaps you will relate. In the mean time, take it easy and know that you have taken some awesome steps to ensuring that your relationship lasts! Awesome!
Sincerely,
Stacy