I hate life right now

dayk64 Community Member May 30, 2009
  • Don't get me wrong, I would never do anything to hurt myself or try to end my own life. I have way too much pain and would never cause anyone else any pain. I am just so tired of being in pain and not getting any help for it. I have Fibromyalgia and Post Concussive Syndrome. My life is a nightmare. None of the doctors I have seen (and there were many) have given me anything that has helped my pain. I am not on anything at all right now. Most of what I have tried do not work and since I have Fibro, I am more sensitive to the side effects of drugs. Those aren't pleasant. Has anyone tried medicinal marijuana for chronic pain or Fibromyalgia? I just was curious if it worked or not. I read an article about it in the paper a couple weeks ago. It is supposed to work wonders for Fibro patients. I am allergic to smoke, so I would have to try the vaporized form. Any thoughts?

19 Comments
  • Anonymous
    MJ
    Apr. 09, 2010

    I haven't tried medical marijauna, but I do have a RX for synthetic version, durabinol/marinol.  I can't tell you how it compares to marijauna, as I've never tried marijuana. 

     

    When I take durabinol/marinol, the pain isn't removed, but it feels as if it exists in a different plane than my existence.  I'm sure that sounds odd, but it is...

    RHMLucky777

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    I haven't tried medical marijauna, but I do have a RX for synthetic version, durabinol/marinol.  I can't tell you how it compares to marijauna, as I've never tried marijuana. 

     

    When I take durabinol/marinol, the pain isn't removed, but it feels as if it exists in a different plane than my existence.  I'm sure that sounds odd, but it is sort of like the description of an out of body experence.  Intellectually, I know the pain is happeneing in my body, I know my physical experience is via my body, but the pain just isn't connected.  My body feels it, but it is disconnected, and not of any consequence.  I would also volunteer that the pain is somewhat reduced, though not significantly.  When the medication wears off, the pain is often back, though sometimes less intense. 

     

    On the other hand, taking muscle relaxants (Soma or Flexaril), both decreases the pain, and most often removes the pain when the medication wears off.  In my case these medications often trigger what is known as a 'rebound migraine', but that is a different issue from the fibro.  Consequently, I don't take either the Soma or flexaril that frequently.  Perhaps you could ask your doctor about them?

     

    I live in New Hampshire, where the opinion about narcotics sounds similar to your experience.  Doctors here are more concerned about keeping their liscence than helping patients pain.  So, unless one is in terminal pain from cancer or the like, it is near impossible to obtain a script for pain.  Honestly, I consider taking my own life as a valid option on occasion, as the pain is just too much to bear.  I don't consider myself suicidal, but practical.

    • dayk64
      Apr. 09, 2010

      So what all are you taking now? It sounds like you have a muscle relaxant, marinol and Cymbalta. Is that right?

       

      I am so sorry that you have thought about ending your life. Please don't. I do know how you feel though. Constant pain with little or no relief can really wear on you. I am so exhausted all the time. I am still working full time, so I have...

      RHMLucky777

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      So what all are you taking now? It sounds like you have a muscle relaxant, marinol and Cymbalta. Is that right?

       

      I am so sorry that you have thought about ending your life. Please don't. I do know how you feel though. Constant pain with little or no relief can really wear on you. I am so exhausted all the time. I am still working full time, so I have to push myself all the time. My job is actually helping me get through each day. Although it gives me more pain to sit at a computer for 8 hours, it allows me to be around people and keep my mind off of my pain. If I stayed home all the time I wouldn't make it. I am a complete homebody, but being at home by myself most of the time I seem to think about my pain more. It is harder for me to get through it. My husband chooses to forget I have Fibro and everything that comes with it. It is easier for him, but harder for me because I can't talk to him about it. I do have Interstitial Cystistis too. Which if you don't know is a painful bladder condition which a lot of Fibro patients get.

       

      I have been depressed a lot more lately. I need to get on this site more and talk to you and others. It does help. Please hang in there and know that I will be here if you need me. I can't take away your pain, but I can "listen". I really wish I could take your pain away though.

       

      Yes, doctors here are afraid of losing their licenses too. That is why they don't prescribe enough for pain here. I hate them all right now. I know I need to find one that will help me, but I am so burned out on all of them. Until I feel comfortable with doctors again, I will wait.

       

      Please take care of yourself,

      Kim

    • MJ
      MJ
      May. 28, 2010

      Right now I"m on Cymbalta (fibro pain and antidepressant), wellbutrin (antidepressant), topomax (pain management & migraine preventative for me), synthroid (migraine preventative for me).  I also have durabinol, methodone, soma, flexaril and fentanyl patches for pain.  However, I use the pain meds sparingly as they all have difficult side effects: ...

      RHMLucky777

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      Right now I"m on Cymbalta (fibro pain and antidepressant), wellbutrin (antidepressant), topomax (pain management & migraine preventative for me), synthroid (migraine preventative for me).  I also have durabinol, methodone, soma, flexaril and fentanyl patches for pain.  However, I use the pain meds sparingly as they all have difficult side effects:  The methodone and fentanyl patches cause an allergic reaction that makes me itch like crazy.  I haven't found anything but claritin that reduces it - but even then I'd rather be in pain than itch after a while.  The fentanyl patches also have an adhesive that pulls my skin off with it and can end in infections with continued use.  The mehtodone, soma and flexaril often give me a migraine afterwards, which tends to hang on for a few days.  The durabinol is the easiest to take, but has to be refrigerated.  Further, it doesn't really remove the pain, but make it feel more distant and manageable.

       

      I have a tens unit which helps if the pain is close to the surface, but the deepseated pain isn't touched.

       

      This week has been bad.  I've had a migraine all week, and fibro pain.  By today, I'm exhausted with the pain and at my wit's end.  I just don't know what to do.  I have plans for the holiday weekend, and don't know if I'll feel good enough to spend time with my company. 

  • RitaRose
    Jul. 03, 2009

    Whoever it was that said to get another doctor...PLEASE DO SO!!! 

    I did, and the new doc put me immediately on "Lyrica".  It is a God-sent!!  It helps with the nerve pain caused from the fibro, and you will feel like a new woman!!  I know others who are also on it, and they feel the same way.

    I do know that the regular pain meds don't work...

    RHMLucky777

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    Whoever it was that said to get another doctor...PLEASE DO SO!!! 

    I did, and the new doc put me immediately on "Lyrica".  It is a God-sent!!  It helps with the nerve pain caused from the fibro, and you will feel like a new woman!!  I know others who are also on it, and they feel the same way.

    I do know that the regular pain meds don't work for me and many others because the pain isn't caused by the same thing many chronic pain is.

    Check out their website, ok?  www.lyrica.com

    And let me know, ok???

    Sending many Hugs,

    Rita

    • dayk64
      Jul. 09, 2009

      I tried Lyrica back in 2006 along with Cymbalta at the same time. Unfortunately, it didn't work for me. I was told to just stop the Cymbalta, but wean myself off of the Lyrica. A couple of days after I stopped Cymbalta I had a seizure type episode. It scared my son and I half to death. Luckily it only lasted for about 20 seconds or so. I got up in the middle...

      RHMLucky777

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      I tried Lyrica back in 2006 along with Cymbalta at the same time. Unfortunately, it didn't work for me. I was told to just stop the Cymbalta, but wean myself off of the Lyrica. A couple of days after I stopped Cymbalta I had a seizure type episode. It scared my son and I half to death. Luckily it only lasted for about 20 seconds or so. I got up in the middle of the night to let our dogs out and noticed my son still up at the computer. He seemed really upset, so I went in to talk to him to see what was going on. I felt really funny when I first got up. I thought I just got up too quickly or something. Anyway, I leaned over to give my son a hug to comfort him. The next think I knew I was on the floor and couldn't move, talk or see. I could hear my son Chris' voice calling for me and could tell how scared he was from his voice. I "woke up" sitting on the floor with my legs straight out in front of me. Chris had helped me down slowly when I "blacked out". He told me that I was staring straight ahead with my eyes wide open. I couldn't move, talk or see. I didn't convulse like a true seizure though. It was a horrifying experience for both of us. So I am here to warn you all about Cymbalta. Don't take it! The Lyrica and Cymbalta were supposed to work well together. Neither of them worked for me. Thanks for the comments. I really appreciate any help I can get. Has anyone tried the Savella that is now available for Fibro? I haven't heard any comments about it yet and was curious.  

    • RitaRose
      Jul. 09, 2009

      SOOO happy that you brought up the "Cymbalta", because I also was one who tried it when it first came out. The doctor at the time had me on opiate pain meds and started me on the Cymbalta along with it. I also had that feeling more than once of being "off balance" and I fell twice before I stopped it all together. It was soon after that when they announced...

      RHMLucky777

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      SOOO happy that you brought up the "Cymbalta", because I also was one who tried it when it first came out. The doctor at the time had me on opiate pain meds and started me on the Cymbalta along with it. I also had that feeling more than once of being "off balance" and I fell twice before I stopped it all together. It was soon after that when they announced that "Cymbalta" may have adverse effects on some people!! What I cannot understand is why it is still on prescribed AT ALL.... So happy that you also got off it before it was "too late"....I simply don't trust that medicine, and I tell everyone I can about it!! Sending you Hugs

    • Anonymous
      MJ
      Apr. 09, 2010

      I have had a different reaction than you.  I did not respond well to Lyrica at all.  I was dizzy, had problems with my balance, cognitive issues, and had no improvement from fibro pain.

       

      The cymbalta has been my life saver.  I've been on it now for 3 years or so.  It has decreased the pain, though not removed it.  I've attempted...

      RHMLucky777

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      I have had a different reaction than you.  I did not respond well to Lyrica at all.  I was dizzy, had problems with my balance, cognitive issues, and had no improvement from fibro pain.

       

      The cymbalta has been my life saver.  I've been on it now for 3 years or so.  It has decreased the pain, though not removed it.  I've attempted to reduce the dose twice in the past 3 years, and have found out just how intense my fibro pain is when I've tried.  I can't say I've had any adverse reactions.  Without Cymbalta I don't know how I'd make it through each day.

       

      MJ

    • dayk64
      Apr. 09, 2010

      I am so glad you found something that helps you with your pain. I am still suffering greatly from mine. I am not taking anything at all still. I have found that I just don't trust doctors anymore. I would love to find one that believes in me and fibro instead of all of them that look at you like you are drug seeking. I actually don't like taking medications....

      RHMLucky777

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      I am so glad you found something that helps you with your pain. I am still suffering greatly from mine. I am not taking anything at all still. I have found that I just don't trust doctors anymore. I would love to find one that believes in me and fibro instead of all of them that look at you like you are drug seeking. I actually don't like taking medications. I hate that most of them have so many side effects. A lot of them have side effects that are worse than the pain itself. I will start writing in here more. I feel so alone. It helps to know I have friends out there that understand. I do wish I could take away your pain though, so you wouldn't suffer too. Be good to yourself and take care. Kim 

    • joanna
      Nov. 11, 2009

      OMG Lyrica!! I'm so afraid of this drug. My doctor put me on this drug even tho I don't have Fibro. He though it might help with my constant back pain. Well it really did nothing for the pain, but almost killed me. I started having problems with it right away. when I looked into all their bad side effects with this drug and I had them all and then some....

      RHMLucky777

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      OMG Lyrica!! I'm so afraid of this drug. My doctor put me on this drug even tho I don't have Fibro. He though it might help with my constant back pain. Well it really did nothing for the pain, but almost killed me. I started having problems with it right away. when I looked into all their bad side effects with this drug and I had them all and then some. My Dr. wanted me off of it too. He figured out a plan to slowly decrease the dosage. That sounded fine. Well when I got to the last ones in the plan and a low dose, that's when I thought I was going to die and oh, I wanted to!!! I sat in my bed holding myself and rocking and crying and praying and I would have done the dead even counted how many Vicodin I had, but I don't want to die  I couldn't leave this kind of legacy for my kids and family. To make a pretty long story shorter, after two trys with the same results I am now back on them. I had to lie to my Dr and tell him I really thought they were starting to work so he wooould prescribe more for me. What can I do? This drug was made in Hell!

  • Scooter
    Jun. 11, 2009

    Hey Sis, Welcome to our site. Don't give up. Keep trying to get the help you deserve.   Wink  Sharon

  • dre
    dre
    Jun. 02, 2009

    I wished that doctors who refuse their pateints opiods as a part of their pain management would suffer for a couple of weeks with the exact pain and see how they feel and see what kind of quality of life they have without some pain relief . Some people ( drs ) might be able to take it for a couple of days or maybe a week or so  ( I mean you are ) but having...

    RHMLucky777

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    I wished that doctors who refuse their pateints opiods as a part of their pain management would suffer for a couple of weeks with the exact pain and see how they feel and see what kind of quality of life they have without some pain relief . Some people ( drs ) might be able to take it for a couple of days or maybe a week or so  ( I mean you are ) but having that constant pain eat at you for weeks , months that turn into years is very different . An animal that no one understands until they are faced with it . It eats at ones quality of life that leaves most facing the future in constant high levels of pain feeling like you . You have the right to pain relief . Any dr who refuses to treat pain with opiods is not a dr . You have the right to pain relief .

     

    I have read and heard that medical MJ has helped many people who have not had much luck with traditional treatments for pain . I hope that you can find some who will treat you like you deserve . Frbro and IC both make ones system very sensative to many different things . Have you looked into trying vitamines or supplements to help .  I found this link that points to maybe a virus causing fibro . There seems to be some kind of trial looking into the virus connection . I hope the link i will post here helps you down the path of greatly improving your quality of live .

     

    Dre

     

    • dayk64
      Jun. 03, 2009

      Wow! I didn't read your comments until after I replied to lgh426...BUT I was just saying that! They wouldn't be able to handle it! I know better. They sit on their high horses and tell me to "just deal with it" or "work through the pain"! How can I get a handle on my pain level if none of them will prescribe anything for me? I will continue to look for a doctor...

      RHMLucky777

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      Wow! I didn't read your comments until after I replied to lgh426...BUT I was just saying that! They wouldn't be able to handle it! I know better. They sit on their high horses and tell me to "just deal with it" or "work through the pain"! How can I get a handle on my pain level if none of them will prescribe anything for me? I will continue to look for a doctor who will understand and actually want to help me. I just don't know if I will find one any time soon. I certainly hope so. I so appreciate your comments to me. This site has already helped me a lot. Thanks for being out there. Kim

    • lgh426
      Jun. 04, 2009
      No they could not take it. I don't know how many times I have said that! Somewhere (probably with regards to Military injuries) someone has stated that if a person is in pain they have a right to not be in pain. That means if you need narcotics then that's what you need. A dr is not upholding his oath if he leaves you in pain! First do no harm, if you are in...
      RHMLucky777
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      No they could not take it. I don't know how many times I have said that! Somewhere (probably with regards to Military injuries) someone has stated that if a person is in pain they have a right to not be in pain. That means if you need narcotics then that's what you need. A dr is not upholding his oath if he leaves you in pain! First do no harm, if you are in pain he's doing harm by leaving you in pain!!!! If he doesn't want to give nacotics haw about something else like Cymbalta or the new one that works like it? There are so many things to try. Go back and get another referal to a different rhumatologist! DEMAND it. YOU PAY THE BILL!!!! You are the one that pays for the insurance, you pay the copay. Speak up If you have to shout up! If you got service like that from a restraunt you would not accept it would you? Get going, now is you time to grow horns, breath fire and let all your anger out! I will keep you in my prayers still. It is O.K. to have anger, just make sure it is directed in the right direction. Take Care lgh426
  • lgh426
    May. 31, 2009

    First of all get a different doctor!  Find a Rhumatologist that treats FM.  You have a right to NOT be in pain.  You will go through many meds 'till you find the right combination for you but it is out there.  I was finally diagnosed 10 yrs. ago and it's taken my doctors about that long to get the meds right, now we fine tune them every...

    RHMLucky777

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    First of all get a different doctor!  Find a Rhumatologist that treats FM.  You have a right to NOT be in pain.  You will go through many meds 'till you find the right combination for you but it is out there.  I was finally diagnosed 10 yrs. ago and it's taken my doctors about that long to get the meds right, now we fine tune them every month.  I have been very blessed in that I found these doctors.  They listen to me, are open to new ideas and they "get it".  When my pain got to the point where I felt I needed opoids/narcotics they agreed.  They do not prescribe indiscrimately, but they do prescribe.  They understand my pain can be as bad as a cancer patient's pain.

    When you call to make that next (and there will be a next) appt. ask about the doctors, ask what they specialize in.  You must be your own advocate, no one else will do it for you!  Right now I take muscle relxers, an anti-depressant that is more for pain control, an anti sizure med, a narcotic and meds for my thyroid.

    As many Fibromites, I also have other problems like thyroid, herniated disc. and osteoporsis.  Sometime those other dis-eases keep your FM going.  You will also learn to tell the difference between which one is bothering you when.

    You can look at this 2 ways, this can be the start of an interesting new avenue of your life or well, you knoww what the other is.  I try to look at it optomistically most of the time but I tell ya sometimes it really gets to ya.  Then I pray and try to remember that God is in charge.  So I will pray for you and hop some of this helps.

    • dayk64
      Jun. 03, 2009

      Thank you so much for your comments and thanks for praying for me as well. I have been in constant pain since September of 2003. The doctors here in the Springs don't seem to care much about people in pain. They are all scared of patients getting hooked on the narcotics they prescribe. I really don't want to have to use narcotics either, but something that...

      RHMLucky777

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      Thank you so much for your comments and thanks for praying for me as well. I have been in constant pain since September of 2003. The doctors here in the Springs don't seem to care much about people in pain. They are all scared of patients getting hooked on the narcotics they prescribe. I really don't want to have to use narcotics either, but something that works would be a blessing. I had my primary care physician give me a consult for a rheumotologist earlier this year. That office called me back and said they don't deal with FM or chronic pain patients! That is so unreal to me. I am sure they have arthritis patients that are in pain all the time. What is it with Fibromyalgia that the doctors just don't get? I don't wish bad things to happen to anyone, but it would be nice to have these unbelieving doctors have my pain for 24 hours. That way maybe they would finally understand. It is just so frustrating. Thanks for being out there for me. Kim

  • Betty Boop Too
    May. 31, 2009

    Hello Dayk

     

    It's a plesure to meet you, but sure wish it did not have to be at a pain site and that your in pain.

     

    I've not had any personal experience with Marjuana for my pain, but have heard from others it has helped them.  I have also a friend who uses marinol for his pain and swears by it.

     

    I think every single one of us have had...

    RHMLucky777

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    Hello Dayk

     

    It's a plesure to meet you, but sure wish it did not have to be at a pain site and that your in pain.

     

    I've not had any personal experience with Marjuana for my pain, but have heard from others it has helped them.  I have also a friend who uses marinol for his pain and swears by it.

     

    I think every single one of us have had those times when we can't help, but hate our lives.  especially when pain first began and we were all so under-treated or had not found a correct medication or doseage. 

     

    Getting treatment for ANY Chronic Pain situation takes way too long.  Many have to struggle through hundreds (it seems) of Doctors just to find one willing to treat our pain, then it takes months to years to find a correct med for each individuals  needs and the dosage that we each require to help gain some function back. 

     

    The first couple years of my pain, I thought it might be killing me, as it certainly felt like something inside me was dying, along with my physical abilities, mental & emotional function and I thought if something did not help me soon, I was going to be completely crippled in a matter of months.

     

    Just keep on moving, fighting for your right to be listened too and allowed treatment and Learn everything possible about pain, your personal illnesses and in time, you will find a doctor who fits you and understands you, listens to you and is willing to treat you like the valuable human that you are.

     

    We are all here for you and will do our best to support, answer your questions and help you with encouragement and understanding.  Your important my dear and you deserve to get proper treatment.

    If there is anything I can help you with, please feel free to send me a private message, eamail me or just post a note here and I will try to help you in any way possible.

    I'm happy you've found us and hope you hang around some so we can get to know you better.

     

    Gentle Hugs, Welcome

    Betty

    • dayk64
      Jun. 03, 2009

      It is so wonderful to have people out there that actually do understand. Nobody around me seems to. I don't look sick (just really exhausted), so nobody seems to notice anything until I can hardly walk or move for that matter. I really don't like to talk about my pain to my co-workers that much, so maybe I am to blame for nobody noticing me and my pain. I don't...

      RHMLucky777

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      It is so wonderful to have people out there that actually do understand. Nobody around me seems to. I don't look sick (just really exhausted), so nobody seems to notice anything until I can hardly walk or move for that matter. I really don't like to talk about my pain to my co-workers that much, so maybe I am to blame for nobody noticing me and my pain. I don't like being the center of attention and I don't like people feeling sorry for me. I will survive! I do think it is important to talk about it in some form or another though. It sure helps to get it out there for people to "see". Thank you so much for your comments. I really appreciate you spending the time with me. It would be nice to have some friends that do understand and who I really don't have to try to explain anything to. I thank God you are out there. Kim

  • mustbehope
    May. 30, 2009

    I have never had the opportunity to try it, but I have heard the same positive things that you have.  I can't be around smoke at all, so would need an alternative form.  I understand that it comes in pill form, something called Marinol.  I'll bet it is not available, but at least in San Diego they are revisiting their position on medical...

    RHMLucky777

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    I have never had the opportunity to try it, but I have heard the same positive things that you have.  I can't be around smoke at all, so would need an alternative form.  I understand that it comes in pill form, something called Marinol.  I'll bet it is not available, but at least in San Diego they are revisiting their position on medical marijuana.  If it helps someone with pain or suffering from cancer and chemotherapy or AIDs, it just seems so heartless to withhold it from appropriate patients, in a very regulated fashion.    Hang in there--we all face way too many hurdles and no one has any idea what pain we endure.

    • dayk64
      Jun. 03, 2009

      Thanks for your comments. I am so glad my sister let me know about this site. It is a great place to find information and to vent. I will ask about the marinol. That might be a better choice for me as well, since I am allergic to smoke. I will always hang in there, but it is just tough some times. Sorry it took so long to respond. I am keeping busy at work....

      RHMLucky777

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      Thanks for your comments. I am so glad my sister let me know about this site. It is a great place to find information and to vent. I will ask about the marinol. That might be a better choice for me as well, since I am allergic to smoke. I will always hang in there, but it is just tough some times. Sorry it took so long to respond. I am keeping busy at work. It helps to keep my mind off my pain when I am busy, but I sure can't do much when I get home. I am just too exhausted and in too much pain. Kim

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