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If I didn't know bettter I'd swear I wrote that and not you! I have said those EXACT same things SO many times. I'm currently on triple what you're talking about and still miserable at times. I wouls have NO life without the pain meds. do I like taking them? NO. Do I get high? NO. But those of us that deal with this are the only ones that understand. Other people look at us like we are some sort of addict. Yes, we are dependent on our medications just as a diabetic is dependent on their insulin. We are dependent b/c we want some sort of "normal" life. If my pain level is less than a 5, I don't even think about my meds. On those days ( which unfortunatly are few) I have to remember to take my extended release that I take every 6 hrs. I have been dealing with this for 22 yrs. and I'd rather be phsically dependent also than in bed all the time.