Friday, July 25, 2014

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 rockabillychick, Community Member, asks

Q: Who do you call when you can't stop crying? physically and emotional exhausted from pain

Who do you call when you can't stop crying?  i am so done and so worn thin from pain and enotional let downs at doc appts.  i have had all my docs telling me i have to have fusion and how it would be a great thing that would lead to me being back in life and being able to leave my house and not be at a level 8-9 all day (with meds).  yesterday after my surgeons nurse had told me eveything i need to do before sugery and what will happen at the hosptial at check in my surgeon came in and said NO.  i am too inflammed from facet damage to have the surgery.  my diskogram showed that i had major pain the whole time the test was done rather then just when they messed with my blown disk, all from the inflammation from my facets and having this all happening for 14 months now.  i have been crying ever since i saw him at 3:30 yesterday afternoon, i can not stop.  i can not eat, i am so upset i keep hyperventalting.  who do i call for this?  i have lost all hope and just want it all to be done, get off the ride- i am too tired for all this.  i need the pain to stop and i need to stop crying.

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Answers (39)
carolinajewel03, Community Member
9/30/08 1:16pm

OMG....I am crying for u... Is this ur first fusion? I don't know what to say to you, cause I have had people say things to me, trying to comfort me, and I was like what r u nutts...u know nothing of what I am going through. I could say hang in there, be strong, call on God...I have heard everything people can come up with. I went through what ur going through, leaving the dr. office squalling....and I did get through it. I can't leave my house, can't go shopping, to a movie, out to eat...cause I can't walk to get there...I know nothing noone can say will really help, cause I know I was like how can u say that u have no clue what pain I am in...and thats true people who suffer from chronic pain 24/7 knows how u feel, but someone outside the box that doesn't suffer 24/7, can't imagine what it is like, the brain won't let them understand severe chronic pain. The reason I say this is cause, my sister was first, she has had 4 fusions...I would go to her house and say come on lets go to the mall, and she would Julie I am hurting to bad...so I would go to my daddy and say, daddy everyday I try and get cathy to go with me she want...I would fuss and complain, thinking she was just not wanting to be with me...for 2 yrs I really never understood her pain...until mine happen ...for over 3 yrs now i have been like this...it is getting worse cause everyday it is harder and harder to walk...My husband finally made me get a hoveround, he thinks this is gonna be our "magic" carpet, thats gonna take most of my pain away cause I am riding around. I am in constant pain, walking just makes it worse. My spine is breaking apart...I really just feel so bad for u....I know what ur going through, but helping ur situation is another thing....OK....This is what helped me ok...when I did the same thing u did on here awhile back, someone wrote a long letter to me about them going through the same thing u and I did...and for some reason, I don't know if it was cause it got my mind off it for a few, or because I knew I wasn't alone. but she helped me...so u write me back anytime u need to vent, or just talk.  

 

                                                                                                Julie

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Cathy, Community Member
9/30/08 2:36pm

Sweetie:

I can relate to your problems.  You don't say how old you are.  But I will tell you this.  You need to seek the help of a Psycaitrist(sp) or a LPC, Licensed Professional Councelor.  I don't know if you are on any type of Anti-depressant, but it certainly sounds like you need one.  If you are on one maybe it needs to be changed.  The medication along with some counceling sessions would help you greatly.  You need to be able to "deal" with life as it is handed out to you.

I've had FM, degenerative disk disease, arthritis, and a multitude of other things for over 20 years now.  Finally, one Dr. said Fibro and that opened many doors for me.  My family still doesn't understand.  I don't know if they ever will, but that's their problem.  Even my Pain Management Dr. says that I've been in pain so long now, that I've just gotten used to it and I don't know what "Pain Free" would be. 

When it comes to these things you have nobody but yourself and a few people here who understand what it is like.  It's lonely as hell, and you just pray for a few moments peace.  But Hon, don't ever give up.  Set little attainable goals for yourself.  Try to make yourself feel better.  I taught myself how to quilt, crochet and now I'm working on knitting.  Do some painting, some crafts, scrapbooking...Anything to get your mind off of it.  Be productive...I know it sounds so easy and what do I know?  Well, I do know and I'll tell you that you will feel so much better when you are proud of you...  I wish I was near you or was able to call you or whatever, but I've been in your shoes and there are days that are worse than others for me, but believe in yourself and get busy...don't dwell on it...You have to make yourself feel better.

I hope that this will help you in some way...I'll keep you in my prayers...Take care of you...

Cathy

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SILVIA, Community Member
10/ 1/08 5:46am

Trust me..crying does help..but, not to the point that you are...you sound more like someone that needs profesional help, in regards to accepting your condition..I know chronic pain, and all the rest of conditions that come with it..i have been thru all the medications for chronic pain, from A-Z..and had to withdrawal from all of them, cold turkey..just like a heroin addict coming off the drug..is no easy task. aside from all the pain the drives you crazy, and yes, even to suicide..my story is long to tell..but..hope it helps you..I was in an auto accident,,broke my spine in 3 parts...my neck, jaws..head..arms.legs..teeth,,and i fractured all my ribs, and went into a coma 2x, near death 2x..and was in the hospital for almost a year..iam lucky to be alive, and still walking...i was paralyzed from my neck down...for 6 months..i but i had faith and a strong spirit and was able to walk again, to the astonished Drs..and here iam...Iam beleive the higher power brought me back to this earth to give all of you my story, and some hope..yes, its hard to live with chronic pain, night and day, and fatigue, and insomnia. and all the after effects of such trauma to the body...and yes...here Iam still..passing on the message..dont feel sorry for yourself, find something to hang on. too...someone near you, or around you still needs you around..get help..there are wonderful drs out there that understand the patient with pain...try the necessary medications until you find one the helps you live a better quality of life..get informed..get yourself some depression medications, if needed..go to counseling..join groups like these where there are people like you, or worst that has been able to cope..and with all the pain in the world, they find themselves being useful, creative, coping with everyday life....You are not alone...you just need to find the road that will take you to get the proper help and be able to cope and adapt with your new way of life..yes..its painful in many ways, your whole life changes, nothing is ever the same...but..we are still here..its a everyday struggle..but we are still here..and youre not alone...find yourself..stop feeling worthless or the victim..stand up and fight this thing called PAIN.....yes it a monster that haunts you day and night...but, we must be strong, and fight back...with knowledge, good medications, therapy, family, support groups, faith, good caring doctors, and a new outlook on your limited condition...thats my message to you..

 

hope something helps....

write to me if you need more help..

iam always around to help...

or just to listen and show you that you can become strong against this PAIN....everyday is a new day...

 

And dry your tears, that only gets you more worried

and weakens your system to cope...

Start on your road to recovery......

PLease...Have Faith..

 

Take care

 

Silvia

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mindimudd, Community Member
9/ 8/10 6:45pm

silvia you reached out to me today i dont feel so internally alone I will hve a cry and fight on. mindimudd 

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LADYBAJA, Community Member
9/12/10 8:24am

Thank you for your message...I hope you continue fighting this monster called pain..never give up..find yourself a good Pain Management Dr, and always stay informed...stay positive, have Faith, and always know that you are never alone....Iam here if you need someone to talk to...

We are bonded by pain, and we are all in this together..Keep your faith up, and dont be a victim to this pain, dont let it rob you more of your life, that it has already...ok..keep on fighting...dont ever give up, and get smart about your condition...and dont feel bad if you need to take drugs like narcotics for your pain...its for a good cause, to make your feel better for some hours of the day...do what you have to do to make your life easier...

take care please...and my prayers are with you...let me know how you are doing ok..

Sylvia...

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shena, Community Member
10/ 2/08 6:11am

Have you been to a neurology doctor, my back pain subsided when I started using a muscle relaxer with my  pain medication. Now I don't have to take them everyday only when I feel an onset getting ready to happen. I know how bad the pain can get.

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judy whitney, Community Member
10/ 2/08 7:43am

i call my daughter  because i don't know who else to call

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judy whitney, Community Member
10/ 2/08 7:53am

i am hurting so bad right this moment that i can't even see because of the tears i just don't know what to do  i have had 16 operations on my spine.i have 2 rods in my back.but right now its my legs.the pain wakes mr out of a sound sleep even though i i take a sleeping  pill.nobody seems to believe me on how bad the pain gets.i just don't know what to do.im so very tired of hurting

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Celeste, Community Member
10/ 2/08 10:37am

Everyone has already given you good advice, now you need to make a plan.  As a person who has lived with pain for 40 years, chronic pain for the last 15, this is my suggestion.  First, get into a Pain Management Program/Group, they will handle just about everything for you.  Medications, referrals to other doctors and the much needed mental support you need right now.  These people know pain, this is all they do.  They saved me!  I was at my breaking point and praying everyday not to wake up.  Second, see another doctor about your back.  Never take one persons opinion on something like this.  Third,  stay away from people who don't or won't understand or care how you feel, you need people around that support you and lift you up, not bring you down.  Forth,  when you start feeling a little better get into a hobby of some kind.  I knit and belong to a group that get together twice a week.  Believe me I know what you are going through.  I have give this same advise to a lady is my knitting group and she is a whole new person.

Celeste

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Laura, Community Member
10/ 2/08 11:01am

Good morning;  Oh sweetie i have the same problem,after two back surgeries.I call my Momma.

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Angelin, Community Member
10/ 2/08 11:08am

I wish there was an answer because this is the point of where I'm at now.  I've had 2 surgeries.  After the surgeries then came the pain management clinic with the shots that does no good and the doc continut sending me back.  I'm at the point of frustration and nothing stops the pain that I'm having in my vack.  I have been in constant pain since 2005.

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backachedp, Community Member
10/ 2/08 11:14am

I was fused 8 years ago..it did not fuse. Now they want to put artificial disc's in no way. I have had 2 lamenectomies and 1 fusion..got worse each time. I don't ever want surgery again. I work 12/14 hrs a week and that almost kills me...I get home and have to lay down and stay down till the next day. It is so hard to live this kind of life. I feel bad for my family I used to cook everyday keep my house spotless no all I do is lay on my side on the couch..cant even sleep in the bed. I go to the Dr next week and he is going to have to make med changes I have been on the same dose for 4 years and it is not working...I am in so much pain all the time. I just cry and cry that's how I deal with it. I have to use a cane cause I fall down..47 and been like this for 9 almost 10 years...I so wish I could be normal...people don't realize when they are healthy they got everything!!!

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heidelue, Community Member
10/ 2/08 12:07pm

I'm sorry but have you tried a chiropractor to help with your pain? I have three ruptured disc in my neck and have been seeing a chiropractor for 2 1/2 months and i have less and less pain every time i go. For the someone to talk to have you thought about a psychologist it sounds like you have depression. I went thew it at the beginning when i was in a lot of pain.

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Qued, Community Member
10/ 2/08 12:30pm

Usually, I don't call anyone.  I just talk to the universe out loud & keep crying until I'm done.  I've lived with chronic pain for more than 10 years.  First & still it's was diabetic neuropathy, but now breast cancer lesions on my lumbar & thoracic vertabrae has been added to the mix.  At the present time, I'm taking hydrocodone 10/325 (2-q12 hrs) when needed for pain.  And I find it's pretty much needed all the time. Once in a while I can get away with 14-16 hours but if I fall or twist wrong I'm back to q6-8 hours for a time & then back on q12 hours.

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Cindy, Community Member
10/ 2/08 12:36pm

I am in this pain group which helps me. So when I am feeling like that I call one of them or I go and hide in my room. I have a problem with my nerves going up my right arm into my neck and I have pain, shooting pain, dull pain that doesnt go away with anything I do.  It is frustrating and depressing but you have to think you are still able to walk right?  I just want to tell you about my husband he has had 7 back surgeries and he is still working and doing great! yes he does have daily pain but it is not nothing like he had before. he has had laminectomies and a lower back fusion, then they put a cage in another fusion. so he actually had 2 fusions.  He injured his back twice which lead to the fusions.  I know it is scary to think about having surgery on your back  but if you have numerous docs telling you the same thing, why not? But I would recommend a NUEROSERGEON to do the back surgery that is what my husband had.  good luck to you.SmileWinkLaughing

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Cottonwoodlindy, Community Member
10/ 2/08 1:26pm

Hello Rockabilly Chick,

   It sounds as if you're very discouraged and frustrated with your situation.  Please look in your area for a local 24 hour crisis/hotline to call.  The individuals that "man" these phone lines are trained professionals who will not only listen without judgement, but may have some useful resources and/or tips for you. At the very least, speaking to someone who is unbiased just feels good.  The best to you...

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Susan Stewart, Community Member
10/ 2/08 3:00pm

I too, suffer from this.  I am taking klonpin for the anxiety and crying part, I take cymbalta for the depression and it is woking for me.   When I get to this point like you I called the crisis line and or see a doctor that is a one that helps people with mental issues.  I do hope these things helps.

SusanCool

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onehurtingal, Community Member
10/ 2/08 3:15pm

I don't call anyone...I have no family members who understand/believe my pain can possibly be this bad. My husband understands...but I get sick of hearing me, so I just assumed (incorrectly) that he gets sick of it also. I normally go to a supportive website for my condition and write in my blog.

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AmericanLadybug, Community Member
10/ 2/08 8:10pm

I talk with my husband or my best female friend, Alicia. They are my only source of face to face support. I have great support from online friends in support groups also. My close friend of over 40 years doesn't even call me anymore. I bought a book called "Beyond Casseroles - Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend" to give her. I thought maybe she just didn't know what to say to me. I don't know if I'm sending it to her now. I'm trying to be okay with the fact that she just doesn't care.    

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AmericanLadybug, Community Member
10/ 2/08 8:19pm

I'm also seeing a counselor to help me with this. I need professional help. I can't do it on my own.

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Ky_Pam1960, Community Member
10/ 2/08 11:11pm

I have been down with my lower back for a week now.I had trigger point injections Monday and it made me worse.I can barely walk ,I hurt from lower back to hips and legs which on leg is numb.

 

So I went to the ER today crying i hurt so bad.The nurse said well we can`t give you nothing for pain.I said I have pain pills,something is wrong i can`t walk.Well she went on and on until i was crying badly.Took me to a room.Doctor came in i told em where i was hurting and he said the samething ,I can`t give u no pain meds.I said i want test ran.They said no we can`t ,I said excuse me!Your turning me away and I can hardly walk?He said go back to your pain management doc.I said he`s close now and i`m hurting badly.Made me so mad i said get the hell out of my room so I can dress and you`ll be hearing from my Attorney.I need help to find one because I know i have a ruptured disc or a infection.My husband couldn`t believe his ears.He said come one we`ll sue them.I`m so sick of being treated like i`m a liar and mentally ill.We need help!!!!

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Peggy, Community Member
10/ 3/08 12:02am

I am letting you know that I was told the same . I had a failed fussion,after 1 month and a second surgery I left the hospital,only to have nurses 3x a week visit. Today I am on more pain pills that I ever been just to get through the day and I will not work again. Choice is yours, I had the surgery so I could continue to work and as you can see that was a mistake

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Wicked Kisses, Community Member
10/ 3/08 12:53am

Most cities have a crises hotline that you can call when you are this emotional.  It doesn't matter why, just that there is a voice at the other end of the line to help you calm down, and take a more objective look at your problem.  Look in the White Pages for Crises Helpline.

 

I know they helped me deal with the simple fact that *no one* but you knows what you are going through.

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raven, Community Member
10/ 3/08 1:28am

DEAR ROCKABILLY CHICK, MY NAME IS RAVEN.  I HAVE  LUPUS, CFS/FIBRO,ATRIAL FIB. WITH 2 ABLATIONS THAT DID NOT WORK, 4 RUPTURED DISCS FROM A FALL AT WORK. NOT TO MENTION WEIGHT GAIN, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION SO ON AND SO FORTH.  WHEN I FACE THE REALTY THAT NOTHING WILL WORK, DOCS, PAIN MEDS,BULL CRAP FROM ALOT OF THEM.  I PRAY.  THAN I GET UP, DO SOME STRETCHES, INVERSION TABLE, AND LISTEN TO MY FAVORITE MUSIC. ENYA, LOREENA MCKEENA(THE MUMMERS SONG), ANYTHING TO GET MY MIND OFF OF IT.  I HAVE GONE THRU THE CRYING, AND I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.  I NOW HAVE 2 GREAT DRS. HERE IN UTAH.  YOU NEED TO RESEARCH THE DRS. IN YOUR AREA.  PAIN MANAGEMENT DID NOT WORK FOR ME.  I FIND LONG SOAKS IN THE TUB WITH EPSOM SALTS BECAUSE OF THE MAGNESIUM HELPS A GREAT DEAL.  ADDING A SCENT NATURAL LAVENDAR OIL, OR PATCHOULI, OR SANDLEWOOD, OR BALSAMWOOD, HELPS MY DEPRESSION.  BUT YOU NEED TO GET UP AND MOVE, EVEN IF IS THE LARGE STRECH BANDS.  GET AT IN THE SUN FOR 20MIN TO GET YOUR VITAMIN D.  TAKE A MUTIPLE VITAMIN, TRY TO GET B12 SHOTS, THAT REALLY HELPS WITH DEPRESSION. WHY NOT TRY A FIBROMYGIA/CFS DR. TO SEE IF THEY CAN HELP. I BET YOU HAVE THAT TO.  BUT DON'T GET SUICIDAL LIKE ME.  PAIN IS HELL, DO WHAT YOU CAN TO STOP IT.  TARDOL SHOTS FROM YOUR BACK DR.  ACUPUNCTURE MAY HELP.

HOT ROCK, I HAVE A HEATED QUEEN SIZE UNDER MY SHEET TYPE OF BLANKET, THAT WORKS WELL, I HURT IN SUMMER AND THE LOW HEAT IS A LIFE SAVER. ICE PACKS, ANYTHING TO STOP IT.  I HAVE TAKEN MANY MEDS. FROM OXYCONTIN TO METHADONE TO YOU NAME IT I HAVE TRIED IT.  SLEEP IS IMPORTANT I NOW TAKE RESTORAL, 2 CAPS A NIGHT, ASK YOUR DR. FOR IT.  AMBIEN AND LUNESTA DID NOT.

LOOK UP PAIN MEDS AND RESEARCH IT. BUT DO NOT GIVE UP. I DID NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE FOR ALMOST A YEAR. LET ALONE CALL MY FRIENDS.  I WAS DEPRESSED.

LOWER THAN A SLUG DEPRESSED. TRY GOING TO CHURCH AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE.

I JUST KNOW THAT THRU THE GRACE OF GOD, AND I DO NOT MEAN TO SOUND LIKE A FANATIC, BUT PRAYER DOES HELP. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO PRAY, MEDITATE, LEARN HOW TO. GO TO THE LIBRARY THEY HAVE SELF HELP BOOKS.

BUT DO NOT GIVE UP,  MY FAVORITE SAYING NOW IS "THRU THE GRACE OF GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.".   I HOPE THAT THIS HELPS YOU.  GOD BLESS.  TAKE CARE AND DO NOT GIVE UP.

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INEZ HOLLOWAY, Community Member
10/ 3/08 9:40am

I PRAY TO GOD AND GO TO BED.Cry

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denvermrr, Community Member
10/ 3/08 12:14pm

have the fusion, I know that you have probably heard bad things about having it done, but as long as you have a good dr. you will be fine. I do not regret having mine done in 2000. i woke up from surgery and did not have pain not even from the surgery itself.

Mike

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John Everhart, Community Member
10/ 3/08 12:33pm

God

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Patti, Community Member
10/ 3/08 3:26pm

I call anyone who will listen! I know how bad the pain can be! Have you looked into the pros and cons of the fusion?  Have you chosen not to have it done? If so, why?  Hope ya feel find some relief soon!

Patti

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Patti, Community Member
10/ 3/08 3:50pm

I apologize for my first reply.  I stupidly (being new to this site) answered the question before logging in and didn't realize I did not have the full question.

 

I have to agree that an evaluation by a counselor is a good place to start. I know how bad the pain can be. I have TMJ disorder as well as arthritis in the jaw joints, right shoulder, both feet and all fingers.  It is bone on bone in the jaw joints.  The big toe joint has been fused. I was in the same place you are right now.  Basically told there is nothing they can do to help me. 

 

I thank God I had a friend who helped me to formulate a plan.  First I made an appt. with a Psychiatrist and then with a pain management program.  I was in so much pain I seriously became suicidal.  A anti-depressant is something you should consider.  There are some on the market these days that even help with pain (well they say they do).

 

The primary thing to do is to get control of the pain and not let it control you.  I know that is easier said then done. But in the long run you will be in a much better place and able to cope alot better. 

 

I hope something in here is helpful to you.  Know that you are not alone in this fight.  There are doctors who will help you both physically and emotionally to get on a better path.  As well as others who care like all of us in these groups! 

 

I am an owner now of a TMJ disorder group and the help that group has provided though caring and sharing is priceless. 

 

Take Careof You: Cause I Care!

 

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Shauna, Community Member
10/ 3/08 4:44pm

I know exactly what you mean.  I have fibromyalgia, so I'm seeing doctors constintly, it seems.  But, the pain never goes away.

Each new treatment or medicine or surgury, I think, this is it, this is the one that is going to help relieve the pain.

All we can do is lean on our lovedones and friends or even the people on this site, to help us through it.

 

caring for you

Shauna

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pumpkinhead8, Community Member
10/ 4/08 10:04pm

I went through the same thing..... Sometimes i would go days without eating or drinking... I would only leave the bed to go to the bathroom..... I finally had the fusion done, and even though it hurt immediately afterwards, i finally started feeling the benefits a month or so later....

I would suggest seeing a therapist... It is a good way to let it out.... You don't have to be crazy to see one... All you have to need is someone to talk to...

 

Good luck and I wish you all the best...

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marshwomyn, Community Member
10/10/08 2:53pm

if you find the answer to this question please let me know. Cool i stopped talking at all about my broken body long ago. i am sure all my friends are soooo tired of hearing the same ole story!

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Robert, Community Member
10/10/08 8:41pm

I know what you're dealing with! I have been there and still end up there occasionally. First don't try to deal with it all at once. What is bothering you most? For me it was pain. Develope a plan of attack. You need to attack this to save yourself. Don't have surgery unless you really want to try it. Quite often on a back it ends up worse. As far as who to talk to. That's a tough one. It needs to be somebody that has compassion for your situation. It doesn't need to be someone you know. More than likely everyone you know won't understand. I've learned to be my own best friend. Nobody will care for you as much as you do. If you didn't you wouldn't be writing. Other option? Lots of people on this site care.

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emelanie, Community Member
1/13/09 11:06pm

I hate so bad that you feel this way. I too have very bad neck problems.Listen..ok...I too done the same thing, and i only got worse emotionally. Finally i knew i had to do something , so I started seeing a therapist . On the first visit , I told him about my physical problems.He told me that i'm Greiving from the loss of my physical problems. Now that I have been put on some medicines and see a therapist everything is at least getting easier . Lighter i think is a better word..Seek professional help , you will feel very much better. It kills me when the doctors don't listen , and i have told my therapist about this. He told me that we need a good medical team that will work too help us.If we are unhappy with them , tell our primary physician..I would really like to stay in touch...you sound just like me...Melanie

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johnnydawrench, Community Member
3/12/09 12:56am

HI THERE I am in the same roller coaster i an 36 with a 7 mo old baby witch i can not hold due to his size i feel like the biggest let down in the world i am going on three years with this I lost my dreams my hope my life i don't know what to do I have had all my job skills takeing from mee told I am useless & worthless. I don't Know WHAT TO DO ANY MORE PLEASE HELP. THANK YOU ?

MY NAME IS JOHNNY MY EMIAL IS install44@verizon.net please contact me I hope we can get through this!

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LADYBAJA, Community Member
9/12/10 8:29am

I know chronic pain, and all the rest of conditions that come with it..i have been thru all the medications for chronic pain, from A-Z..and had to withdrawal from all of them, cold turkey..just like a heroin addict coming off the drug..is no easy task. aside from all the pain the drives you crazy, and yes, even to suicide..my story is long to tell..but..hope it helps you..I was in an auto accident,,broke my spine in 3 parts...my neck, jaws..head..arms.legs..teeth,,and i fractured all my ribs, and went into a coma 2x, near death 2x..and was in the hospital for almost a year..iam lucky to be alive, and still walking...i was paralyzed from my neck down...for 6 months..i but i had faith and a strong spirit and was able to walk again, to the astonished Drs..and here iam...Iam beleive the higher power brought me back to this earth to give all of you my story, and some hope..yes, its hard to live with chronic pain, night and day, and fatigue, and insomnia. and all the after effects of such trauma to the body...and yes...here Iam still..passing on the message..dont feel sorry for yourself, find something to hang on. too...someone near you, or around you still needs you around..get help..there are wonderful drs out there that understand the patient with pain...try the necessary medications until you find one the helps you live a better quality of life..get informed..get yourself some depression medications, if needed..go to counseling..join groups like these where there are people like you, or worst that has been able to cope..and with all the pain in the world, they find themselves being useful, creative, coping with everyday life....You are not alone...you just need to find the road that will take you to get the proper help and be able to cope and adapt with your new way of life..yes..its painful in many ways, your whole life changes, nothing is ever the same...but..we are still here..its a everyday struggle..but we are still here..and youre not alone...find yourself..stop feeling worthless or the victim..stand up and fight this thing called PAIN.....yes it a monster that haunts you day and night...but, we must be strong, and fight back...with knowledge, good medications, therapy, family, support groups, faith, good caring doctors, and a new outlook on your limited condition...thats my message to you..

 

hope something helps....

write to me if you need more help..

iam always around to help...

or just to listen and show you that you can become strong against this PAIN....everyday is a new day...

 

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John Graham, Community Member
1/10/10 4:52pm

Honey I Went 8 yrs with a river running through my stomach facciklations in my legs. I had gone to Mayo and every university in IL at least5 twice on most places.and was told the same thing we know the dr screwed up on diskogram but we cant talk or help you. fINNALY when all I could see was a two ft square and waas litteraly dead my wife got me in to see Fred Geisler. at 2020 Odgen Ave suit 335 Aurora ILL internet www.fredgeisler.com and the man saved my life.Now I AMM RETIRED IN TENN WITH MY WIFE. Do not give up study Joseph in Genesis and Jobe and keep on praying. I would call this man and make a plea to him for if it wasnt for him and god I would of died in the condition I was in when he performed my surgery. I Will keep you in prayer

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mindimudd, Community Member
9/12/10 2:57pm

we cry tears in shapes of things we have lost.

 

moarn the shapes that come out of your eyes. we lose so much in chronic pain and we are so scared that any movement, decision,  choice will make it worse. move into the pain, imbrace it, exsperance it, listen to it, talk to it, some where in it there is an answer. 

mindi lee    

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jude270love, Community Member
11/ 5/10 12:01am

How long have you been in the pain? I have went thru the same thing. One minute they say shots, then surgery now I have to have a diskogram. I went thru crying and just didnt things would ever get better. how you doing now

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ciaobella, Community Member
11/ 5/10 2:07am

i am not sure that i have an answer for you...but i need to say that i am glad i found your post.  interestingly enough, i found it because i am finding myself in the same situation.  i have had constant and chronic pain for as long as i can remember now.  over 25 years!  it was about this long ago that i first started seeking treatment.  it has been hell all this time.  unfortunately, what i thought was a bad situation, has now gotten worse!  and all i do now is cry.  what's worse, the ones i love and count on---not only do not help, but actually seem to be making it worse.  my husband fights with me--telling me that i am being "short" with him and that he doesn't have to put up with it!  He makes little comments like "i know you're hurting...but BLAH BLAH BLAH..."  if he knows, why does he make it worse?  funny thing is, is that i am not being rude, or mean, or anything!  i will just do something like; go into the other room to lay down or read as any little sound (much less the blaring tv) is enough to send me through the roof screaming in pain!  my condition causes daily chronic migraine headaches, and the slightest noise is unbearable.  so rather than be rude and ask that the tv be turned down or off, i go to the other room.  he has absolutely no thought of how bad it hurts!  as many others have said before, no one understands unless they have been there.  as far as friends, no one seems to be "available" when/if i call them.  again, i don't think that they know just how badly you truly need them, or anyone for that matter, to talk to! 

 

i too am at my wits end...and this is all on top of the now worsened pain!  i typed in a search for support groups for chronic pain in utah and, well, here i am!  i am finding help though in the words of others who have also responded to you...i hope that you are as well? 

 

i recently did find a very wonderful and caring doctor.  this was after years and years and years of no one being able to find out why i was in pain to begin with!  so, i have found some hope in knowing that i am not crazy and that there is actually a reason i feel the way i do!  i am just not sure where to go from here.  one thing that my new dr. has noticed right away and recommended to me almost immediately is counseling.  he told me that there are counselors who specialize in treating chronic pain and medical conditions.  and he saw that i needed this before i even realized that i did.  this was just about a week or so ago...and i already see that he is right! 

 

one thing i have found, about the crying...is that i have actually found it to be helpful.  i don't know if it is or would be for you, but it actually releives a lot of pressure and quite a bit of the pain.  of course, if it is non-stop for days, weeks, months, etc.  then of course it is not good.  but for a few hours, i dunno--could help?

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Bob S, Community Member
12/15/10 11:45pm

Go to a pain clinic,grab the phone book and start calling,it takes months to get an appointment but its worth it.Be open and listen to the doctor and start trying meds to help with the pain,if you feel no pain relief after a week call the doctor and try another med,eventually you will find a drug that will help,I found that a drug called avinza saved my life.Do not give up,you are the only one that will help you,also ,if you don't like the doctor move on there's more in the book and they all want your money.having cronic pain is a cruel joke to humanity,I cried for 30 days straigh before the doctor took an x-ray and found the back surgery screw was imbedded into my siatic nerve.To me the hardwst part of cronic pain isn't the pain,its the system,the doctors,insurance companys,becoming a test rat until you find the right med for you.The medical system is so out dated,they still use paper forms,in todays computer age.Hang in there you will get pain relief,its gonna take time and patients but you will get help

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Pegi Spencer, Community Member
8/31/11 6:03pm

This is an old post to answer, IO just hope someone will read this.

I'v been in pain since I was 8yrs. old, I went down a slide & broke my tailbone, where the sand was worn away from a post holding the slide down, with cement. Another 'Member' said she was told,'You've been in pain to long for us to help you', somthing like that. I also don't remember whats it like, to NOT have pain.

I'v been threw it all, so please don't suggest for me to see a 'Chiroprater', have another 100+ injectins, excerise's or go to P.T. I'V DONE IT ALL! A few drs. told me to 'Get a Hobbie'..I'v been rescuing Animals over 40 yrs. A few told me to 'Find a Boyfriend' who wants a NOW broken down old lady?

I'v been to many Dr's, with my MRI'S, Cat scans from long ago, X-rys old & receant. You can see where my discs are gone, where my Vertbrays have 'Fused' every which way, also the Discs that very thin, they probly wore away by now. See you don't have 'surgey' for Fushions, your body will do what surgey can do. A yr. ago I had an x-ray at my G.P's, I fell against a plastic crate & had trouble breating. WOW was he suprised to see my 'Kyposis' had gotten so bad, it has grown to less then an inch from my spine. He looked at me with a worried face & asked, 'What are you going to do'..I have complained for yrs about pain between my shoulder blades. They answered 'If we can calm down your lower back, that should help your upper back', But no one bothered to find out WHY the pain between my shoulder blades..NOW WE KNOW! Where is this 'gROUTH' going to end up? Will it attach to my spine, or go further & damage something in my chest, I'll have to read more about it, as I always have, I had an HMO for yrs, to them if I still breathing..I was O.k.  Thats when I started finding out all I could about Backs, picking everones brain, reading,ect.

I triped coming in from the garage over 2ys. ago, it didn't heal right, which let to more problems. When you've done stuff all day, my legs & arms don't work right, or my leg couldn't step up a small step, My family is so use to me doing everything, even though they are 'Adults', they follow my husbands lead & hold 'the couch down'. My Mom was the same she always depended on me to do it all, even when all I could do was crawl pushing a heavy stepstool, to clime up to the counders, drag a Laundry basket up the stair or down. She expected my 'Chores' to be down, I had to do my Sisters too, if hers wern't done I was the one who got in trouble. Mom worked 2-3 jobs, when all I could do was crawl, she at least cut me some slack if I didn't get everything done, expecting me to catch up the next day. I LOVED IT when my Sister said to me a few yrs. ago 'Guess I just don't know how to clean a house', with many of her friends there IO answered 'Cause you never had to, I crawled around & did it'. She started her usuall 'screaming' at me, she would SCREAM at me over every small thing, making everyone look at her as if she was nuts..Lol That broke the party up, she put on that I was the oner who 'beat' her up, 'screamed' at her, ect. She would always tell everone about 'Her terrible childhood'. When I would see her friends at other 'get togethers', many of her friends would tell me how they heard her say things to me that made them cringe. She liked to put on how 'sweet & loving' she was, glad they saw how she really was.

For now I have a good pain Dr. who gives me Meds, which take the edge off my pain. Reading everyones post, it seems like everyone wants to be out of pain. Sorry to say, YOU WILL NEVER BE OUT OF PAIN! You will NEVER run a 10K again, hike ALL DAY in the mountians, play softball or 5 games of Tennis. You have to 'pick' what you can do that day & for how long, I know you don't want to hear that, Sorry. A member said she wored a few hrs a day & came home & just went to sleep. I tryed working 4hrs. 3-4 days a wk. if it wasn't for the 'bumps' on the freeway, I would have fallen asleep on the way home.

I don't tell ppl what Meds I take, they think I'm a 'Drug Addict', my Sister again, makes out that I take 'handfuls of drugs' all day long. She doesn't tell about her dring 1-2 of the boxes WINE, 24/7, how she has 'Jaunice', been the Hosp. a few times. She tells a 'story' about being BORN with it, it is now 'showing-up'. I'v read many things about it, none said you 'carry' it like Diabetis, she thinks shes fooling everyone. But won't stop with my Meds, my tests come back O.K...the B*%$h, even her Chipractor looks at me like, I will start foaming at the moth & snakes will grow from my head. She should know better, she went to school to become a Chiropracter. YA, a higher education or going to college makes you smart...Right? My dog's have more common sence than a few dr's, I went too.

Now that my back is 'Screaming' at me, I'll take my HANDFULL of Drug's, clime in my wheelchair & vaccum some floors. This house is a 'dust ball' & no one here cares, the floors are so dirty you can't see what color they are. I'll just do what I can, one of my Sons washed the floors a few wks. ago, now I'll scrape the dirt from the corners. How can 'They' live like this knowing I'm still in a wheelchair, my knee is a whole story, in it's self. Take care. Love ya all. Wipe you tears away, it can't get any worse..yes it can. I can't walk, pee in a bed pan, get a shower once a wk., if I'm lucky. wash up from a plastic pan, have to ask for food, can't reach the good stuff. Talk with you all later, I can't leave my house, have a 'sloup' in front, can't get out in my wheelchair. Hugs, Pegi 

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By rockabillychick, Community Member— Last Modified: 06/17/12, First Published: 09/30/08