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OMG....I am crying for u... Is this ur first fusion? I don't know what to say to you, cause I have had people say things to me, trying to comfort me, and I was like what r u nutts...u know nothing of what I am going through. I could say hang in there, be strong, call on God...I have heard everything people can come up with. I went through what ur going through, leaving the dr. office squalling....and I did get through it. I can't leave my house, can't go shopping, to a movie, out to eat...cause I can't walk to get there...I know nothing noone can say will really help, cause I know I was like how can u say that u have no clue what pain I am in...and thats true people who suffer from chronic pain 24/7 knows how u feel, but someone outside the box that doesn't suffer 24/7, can't imagine what it is like, the brain won't let them understand severe chronic pain. The reason I say this is cause, my sister was first, she has had 4 fusions...I would go to her house and say come on lets go to the mall, and she would Julie I am hurting to bad...so I would go to my daddy and say, daddy everyday I try and get cathy to go with me she want...I would fuss and complain, thinking she was just not wanting to be with me...for 2 yrs I really never understood her pain...until mine happen ...for over 3 yrs now i have been like this...it is getting worse cause everyday it is harder and harder to walk...My husband finally made me get a hoveround, he thinks this is gonna be our "magic" carpet, thats gonna take most of my pain away cause I am riding around. I am in constant pain, walking just makes it worse. My spine is breaking apart...I really just feel so bad for u....I know what ur going through, but helping ur situation is another thing....OK....This is what helped me ok...when I did the same thing u did on here awhile back, someone wrote a long letter to me about them going through the same thing u and I did...and for some reason, I don't know if it was cause it got my mind off it for a few, or because I knew I wasn't alone. but she helped me...so u write me back anytime u need to vent, or just talk.                                                                                                     Julie