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Sweetie: I can relate to your problems.  You don't say how old you are.  But I will tell you this.  You need to seek the help of a Psycaitrist(sp) or a LPC, Licensed Professional Councelor.  I don't know if you are on any type of Anti-depressant, but it certainly sounds like you need one.  If you are on one maybe it needs to be changed.  The medication along with some counceling sessions would help you greatly.  You need to be able to "deal" with life as it is handed out to you. I've had FM, degenerative disk disease, arthritis, and a multitude of other things for over 20 years now.  Finally, one Dr. said Fibro and that opened many doors for me.  My family still doesn't understand.  I don't know if they ever will, but that's their problem.  Even my Pain Management Dr. says that I've been in pain so long now, that I've just gotten used to it and I don't know what "Pain Free" would be.  When it comes to these things you have nobody but yourself and a few people here who understand what it is like.  It's lonely as hell, and you just pray for a few moments peace.  But Hon, don't ever give up.  Set little attainable goals for yourself.  Try to make yourself feel better.  I taught myself how to quilt, crochet and now I'm working on knitting.  Do some painting, some crafts, scrapbooking...Anything to get your mind off of it.  Be productive...I know it sounds so easy and what do I know?  Well, I do know and I'll tell you that you will feel so much better when you are proud of you...  I wish I was near you or was able to call you or whatever, but I've been in your shoes and there are days that are worse than others for me, but believe in yourself and get busy...don't dwell on it...You have to make yourself feel better. I hope that this will help you in some way...I'll keep you in my prayers...Take care of you... Cathy