In incredible debilitating pain every day. Husband kicked me and my kids out of the house because he did not believe that I was really sick. DX was fibromyalgia but my knees are out of thier alignment and crunch like paper when I bend them. No one seems to care enough to actually help me with any solutions especially when they find out I take pain meds every day for pain. Out I go because they don't want to deal with me. Trying to care for myself but seem to need alot of percocet to even get relief anymore. Need to figure out what else I can do to get my life together. Pain controls me and everything I do. I need to control it without turning myself into someone I won't like very much. Need to do it for my boys. They are all I care about. They need thier mom 100% of me. I am all they have.
I understand how you are feeling. When i first had to start taking daily pain meds i always was afraid of addiction and felt guilty about taking them. don't do that to yourself. if you are only taking the meds when you are in pain and not for any other reason like stress or depression than you are ok.
the pain clinic i go to offers counceling, this may be great for you- help with these feelings you are having, also to help with becoming a single mother. maybe you should look into that.
you are right- your kids do need you. you have to take care of yourself first so you can be there for them, right now that means being on pain medication, that is ok.
it doesn't sound like you are on alot of meds. i know i take more then that. i also know that my pain in 110% real and life altering. don't guilt yourself into thinking your pain is not real or that taking the meds is a bad thing.
I am very sorry your husband could not understand, that happens alot. Noone can ever really understand it, I know everyone on this site can come very close to understand as we are all suffering. i may be overstepping a boundary but if i was you i would get all my medical stuff together to be able to show that you are prescribed the med and that you do have a ligit medical condition that your doctors will back up, just incase you need it for divorce court. once again i am sorry if that is out of line- as you do not know me. i would just hate for the condition that is already overwheming your life to become a new problem in a tough time. When people go through a marital problem alot of pain turns to anger, if your husband left because he does not believe that you have a real medical problem he may take that into court while he is angry. the last thing you need is more problems- chronic pain patients already have enough!
my heart is with you and my prayers!
always feel free to write to me- this site is a wonderful thing for all of us. sometimes you just need to vent without any one thinking negativly about you, sometimes we have questions that we want to hear patients answer rather then doctors, sometimes you just need validation that you are ok! and you are!!!!
First, don't worry about addiction on that amount of medication. There is a huge difference between dependence upon your medication and addiction to your medication. With addiction you not only cannot go without, you need more and more to get by. With dependence, you simply cannot function properly because of the pain unless you take your medication. I take more med than you do at a higher narcotic level but am not addicted and I have been taking my med for several years. I have fibro but also have several other DX's to go along with it. I will keep you in my prayers Mary. If you need to have more personal info on this please feel free to contact me at email@example.com anytime I'll always get back to you within 24 hours.