i need help.

Hey, I wanted to share some of my story with u, I don't think it will help u with ur quest for understanding from ur family, but I hope it helps in some way... My Sister and I both suffer form the same medical problems, we will call each other and compair places that hurt, my lower back started first for me, her neck started first for her. then my neck, then her lower back. She had her first rupture about a year before mine, and I would get upset with her because she wouldn't go any where with me, she would always Julie I am hurting to bad to go..I would go tell my Daddy, she is faking all this crap cause there is no way she could hurt everyday so bad she can't go anywhere with me. I would fuss and fuss at her. I told her you hurt so bad cause u don't get out of that recliener and do anything. she would start crying and say I wish u would understand, and I tried very hard to, but finally I just gave up asking her. Then mine happen 3 disc blew at the same time, had to have fusion w/plates, then my lower back got so bad that now I can't walk. I have so many things wrong with my spine, that the doctor told me there is not that can be done, all he could do was keep me as comfortable as possible. I never understood my sisters pain til I got it myself. I think noone knows what chronic pain 24/7 is like unless they live in everyday. I have perminate nerve damage in my neck, 3 fingers on left hand stay numb, 2 on the right hand. I have 3 blown disc in my lower back now, L5, L4, L3, L2 and S1 I have austopenia, DDD and DHD...4 toes on both feet stay numb. I live with 24/7 chronic pain. I found a wonderful doctor that believed in me, and gave me good pain pills. I went from a housewife that cooked and cleaned everyday, to something that can't wash one load of cloths without crying for an hour. This website is so helpful, it has people who suffer the way we do, that understands and r caring. I hope u can get ur family members to understand...but I honestly think noone can understand unless they themselves has been threw it.

How to make them understand the difference between functional coping and getting "high"? They see you each day and know that you are going through something enormous, they try to be understanding but at a point really just hope you'll cope and it'll all be okay. They cannot understand it as we do because one needs to live this Hell prior to realizing that the meds are the most basic level of care, not a recreational wonderland.

Like yourself I am extremely angry that those of us with real injury/condition related pain are lumped in with drug addicts. The Doctor's are more concerned with answering to regulators than with treating their patients. There is an air of fear and distrust that has come to be associated with anyone who walks into a Doctor's office and says they are in pain constantly.

My current Doctor informed me at my worst point of injury pain that he had "no interest in treating your pain, if you think I'm going to give you Narcotics then leave." I was suicidal with actual physical pain and the emotional side of things was not helping. I didn't give into his negative attitude, I jumped through all his hoops (tests, MRI, CT etc) and he gave me basic pain meds. It was a very hard won basic level of care. I still struggle with even being able to deal with him but there is no one else. The 3 Doctor's before him just said "NO".

The point here being that this is a worldwide crisis. The societal attitude has permiated from our friends/families to our treating physicians. If they were to walk a mile in our shoes they'd hope that we'd show them the mercy we have not been shown.

It's a horrible feeling trying to not only deal with the reality of each day but the constant over-shadow of having to prove yourself constantly.

It's extremely difficult to explain constant pain to someone who has never experienced it.  I did find one example, though, that seems to help.  It's called the Clothespin Challenge.  You can find the details here: 

http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/c/5949/17583/clothespin

Other than that, just try to educate them on what is causing your pain and tell them what your doctor says.  If you can find a way to help them visualize what has happened to your back, sometimes that helps.  Many of us are visual learners and have difficulty understanding something until we can "see" it – mentally at least.

As for the pain medications, try to explain to them that when someone is in serious pain, pain medication doesn't make them high.  At best, it makes them functional. 

I'm thankful you have your two precious little girls to bring you joy and a reason to live.  I wish you the best.

i dont have any answers for you and im soory but if you find any please let me knw thank you topkitten62@yahoo.com