Frustrated with Drs. and treatment Please any help.

I am new to this site, or any like it. Glad to have it. I have had 3 broken fusions S1-L4 w/bulging @L3-2 Now have sacro illiac,facet joint degeenerative disc diseases as well as hip dysplasia. I am also a recovering alcoholic. On the 18th it will be 20 years sober. I only started meds after my last 2(in 1 week) surgeries about 8 years ago MSIR MSCONTIN. This was after a world renowned Boston hospital pain clinic "fired" me for re scheduling 3 appts. in 1.5 years. They had me on muscle relaxers, things like neurontin. I have had 3 children, not sure what role this played, but Drs. were on board.Ended up w/ kind Dr. who said after seeing 1 x-ray they(pain clinic) treated me less than wounded dog. He started course of morphine. He then went on to be director of a hospice and referred me to another Dr. who didn't like rxing but she did.Long story short, I went off the mscontin,I would sleep 36 hours straight and had been at same dose of ir for several years.Discussed change w/ Dr. as no relief and she said hospice Dr. had to come to home, which he did. Swiched to Oxycontin and Oxycodone, but after getting report my Dr. decreased doses. Now, I have to say, as a recovering alkie I realize this is tricky, and i am forever vigilant and honest. No Dr. shopping, and have never abused my meds, if anything I have undermedicated myself(i know,stupid). Today, I sit, frustrated, in pain not feeling fit to be a mom nor a wife and once again feel at the end of my rope. Anyone with suggestions, please respond. If nothing else knowing I am not alone helps tremendously. Thanks. I'm waiting for Hospice Dr. to return call and am sick and tired of being sick and tired.