I DONT KNOW WHO TO TALK TO

You're in a difficult situation! Have you tried Ultram? Ultram is a technically a narcotic pain reliever but it has a very very low incidence of addiction. It is often used for back pain. Its not as strong as Vicodin or Percocet or OxyContin but it should be able to give you much more relief than you're currently getting.

http://www.healthcentral.com/chronic-pain/find-drug-25432-25.html

You might also consider trying alternative methods of pain relief such as relaxation exercises meditation, biofeedback, etc. You might ask your doctorto see if your insurance covers these therapies. Since they're reluctant to give you a narcotic pain relievers one would think they have a responsibilityto try alternative means.

You can also do these therapies on your own.  They work by turning down the stress response which alleviates the pain response as well.  You can find a good introduction to them and exercises you can do in John Kabat-Zinn's book "Full Catastrophe Living" which you can find on Amazon.com. 

Keep pushing your doctors for pain relief. Impress upon them how serious it is and that you've considered suicide because of it.  Physicians are very reluctant to prescribe narcotic drugs to people they think may become addicted but if you have really severe pain addiction is a much better option than suicide!

Good luck! 

I am so sorry you seem to be being punished for seeking help with what you thought was prescription addiction.  I agree with the suggestion to find alternative ways to find relief, but having lived with back pain for 40 years, and having five spinal surgeries since the mid 1960s, I think you may need some pain medicine as well.  If you are not getting a positive response from your pain specialist, perhaps you should try to find another one.  One suggestion I have is to see about an intrathecal pump, which I have had since 2000 and can honestly say is the only thing that has allowed me to manage my pain.  I know everyone is not a good candidate for this, and I don't know all the medicines that can be used in it.  Mine is implanted in my abdomen, so I can't feel it and have nothing to do with it except go to the pain specialist every two months to have it filled.  My pump delivers morphine and bupivicaine for pain management and baclafen for spasticity for the MS I was diagnosed with about 15 years ago.  It might be a good solution for you since you cannot change the dosage and you get a steady delivery of medicine so you don't get the periods where the medicine is beginning to work and when you are getting ready to need more medicine, both times when you are in more pain. I don't understand the big controversy about people in chronic pain becoming addicted, I never feel high when I take pain meds, although I might feel a little tired when I take them orally, but I know I feel terrible pain when I don't take them.  I wish you all the best, Denise