I should be the poster child for denial about COPD.
After the birth of my last child at age 39, I went to the doctor's for my annual checkup. Because I was a smoker, the doctor ordered chest x-rays. She told me I would have emphysema in 15-20 years. Well I figured I had plenty of time to quit smoking and continued to live my life the way I always did...until one summer day when I was 42. I was carrying a cooler onto the beach and about 100 feet later couldn't catch my breath. I thought I must be out of shape and continued smoking. I noticed little by little I could do less (trouble climbing long flights of stairs for example), feeling like I was losing bladder control due to a lack of oxygen (I found that out later). Still I continued to smoke until I woke up one morning and couldn't even walk to the bathroom. I was only 52 and I finally had to face reality. That was almost 6 years ago and I finally quit smoking. I;m now on oxygen 24/7 and take medications to help my breathing. I didn't think it would happen to me, but it did.
Dear NHLady,
The poster child? :-) I must agree that your story sounds pretty familiar, although you're still a young woman! Thank you so much for sharing.
A COPD patient and I used to give a presentation at the local high school and the title of it was, "That Will Never Happen to Me!" Don't be too hard on yourself. It is human nature for us all to think we're invincible to some extent or other. Try not to look too hard at the past. Just take it from here and do your best starting today. Thanks again. You helped a lot of people today with your comment here, without even realizing it.
Take Care,
Jane
http://www.breathingbetterlivingwell.com
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Hello Folks:
Great article! I have had experience with the demon of denial
early on, when first diagnosed with COPD.
I can remember the day well. Before I joined AA, I came home from
the hospital, newly diagnosed. I didn't think much about it, as I had
minor symptoms, I went to my favorite bar, and started to have a few
drinks. I lit up a cigarette, and ordered a double Jack Daniels on the
rocks. To make conversion, the woman behind the bar casually asked
me how I felt. I said that I was "fine." I also told her that I was just
diagnosed with Emphysema. She looked shocked, and asked me,
"you are smoking now, aren't you afraid. Of course, I said no. At the
time, I didn't think it was a "big deal."
A number of years passed, I joined AA, and continued to smoke.
One of the things I have learned in AA, is this; many alcoholics have
a difficult time with trying to quit. Failing Liver, Pancreatic problems,
etc., and they still drink. They are in DENIAL, about the life and death
situation that continued drinking has on them. Denial! Fortunately,
I learned, as I continued to smoke, that I was in denial about my
Lung problems. I finally learned, with many exacerbations, and
having Pneumonia four times, that I finally had to quit or die a
miserable death.
Tomorrow, 2 February 2010, I will have four months smoke free.
I was able to make the connection with my denial of a problem with
my Lungs, to the Denial I had with the problem of Alcohol. Finally!
Thank you for posting this article, I truly refreshed my mind about
denial.
John
Dear John,
Thank you so much for your comments, and for sharing your story! Denial is a demon, indeed! And the sooner it is conquered (or at least stared in the face), the sooner the person with COPD can get on with living life.
Congratulations on being four months smoke free! That's is a huge accomplishment and you should be very proud.
Thanks again for your comment!
Jane.