Let’s Smoke WATER!

The Midlife Gals (r) Health Guide
  • Just when you think you’ve heard everything in the stop smoking market, along comes an infomercial guy (which makes me immediately skeptical) who is selling a contraption that will not only deliver nicotine to your system (…except aren’t we trying to get the nicotine OUT of our systems)…anyway…a delivery system that also includes FAKE SMOKE!  People can be so creative, can’t they?

     

    Here is what the cigarette-looking thing has in it:

     

    A red LED at the end to simulate fire

    A lithium battery

    A Motorola chip

    An airflow sensor

    An ultrasound vaporizer and

    A NICOTINE cartridge

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    The technical parts to the thing reside in a fake cigarette holder, so not only do you get to look like you’re smoking, you get to look like you’re from the fifties and smoking.  If they made the holder six inches longer like Holly Golightly’s in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, maybe I’d think about it, but you’d be ridiculed off the curb outside your building if you brought out this freakish device in your daily smoke group.

     

     

    So, the ultrasound vaporizer somehow produces a vapor that looks like smoke.  From the photographs, apparently, it will moisturize your nostrils as well, as the smoke doesn’t go anywhere, but lingers around your face.  In the case of middle age, this might not be so bad, softening anyone’s focus who was trying to talk to you, providing you with one more lie…that you’re younger and still smoking!  Brilliant.

     

    Here’s some of their marketing copy (and I’m not kidding…this is verbatim)…

    “It’s the first technological breakthrough in the cigarette industry since the cave-man…and it will cost you less than a steak dinner.”

     

    Okay, don’t get me started on why they decided to equate cave-men in their argument to convince one to use their product…and then the minute I read the words, steak dinner, that’s all I wanted…forget the fake cig.

     

    I’m tempted to try this product just to freak people out…like walk slowly through a crowded cocktail party in cramped quarters puffing vapors into people’s faces, smiling a devilish grin, and then carrying on regardless.  I’d have a photographer following me to record the sensational responses.  That’s just the kind of shenanigans that makes The Midlife Gals tick!

     

    Read more from The Midlife Gals:

    A Smoker's Crime and Punishment

    A Day in the Life of a Smoker

    The Old Glamour of Smoking

    Welcome to Marlboro Country

Published On: July 21, 2008