A Timeline for Smokers

The Midlife Gals (r) Health Guide
  • Let's just start with the year 1938. I don't know why. Some of my details in the following time-line might not be entirely correct, but I don't care so don't send me any hate mail or statements like the guy last week who said, "Get your facts straight." That's just rude. Anyway...

     

    1938
    Little Boy - "Daddy, what's a cigarette?"
    Daddy - "Well, son, this country was built on a crop called ‘tobacco' and the Native Americans smoked it in pipes. Cornerstone of this United States of America."

     

    1948
    Little Girl - "Mommy, why do you smoke those? What do you call them, cigawets?"
    Mommy - "Honey, there's a movie star named Lauren Bacall. When I smoke these my voice sounds low and sultry just like hers."

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    1958
    Little Boy - "Daddy, everybody smokes cigarettes. Can I have one?"
    Daddy - "Hell, no son, you're too young. Wait till you're sixteen and I'll take you out in the Edsel and give you your first one. Good things never change."

     

    1968
    Little Girl - "I want to smoke with a cigarette holder just like you. Your long fingernails look so pretty. And I want to blow smoke rings too."
    Mother - "Ummm, Winstons taste good like a cigarette should."
    Little Girl - "Us Tarryton smokers would rather fight than switch!"
    Mother - "Oh, honey, don't say that. That's horrible. It's ‘WE Tarryton smokers would rather fight than quit. You must use proper language."

     

    1978
    Little Boy - "Daddy, the Surgeon General said smoking that cigarette is bad for you and it could make you sick."
    Daddy - "Don't you worry little buddy, they can't prove that, and my daddy smoked till the day he died of lung cancer back in ‘58'. Hogwash, I like the way they taste."

     

    1988
    Little Girl - "Don't do that mommy. It smells bad."
    Mommy - "Don't mind me honey, besides, it doesn't hurt you. Just be quiet and make your way through the smoke cloud into the kitchen and get me a beer, will you sweetheart?"


    1998
    Little Boy - "I thought you said you were going to quit the cigawets."
    Daddy - "I am but just not right now. These suckers are addictive you know. Don't ever start smoking or I'll kill you. Do what I say not what I do."

     

    2008
    Little Girl - "It's cold out here. Can't we go in?"
    Mother - "Sorry, honey, you can't smoke ‘inside' anywhere in the world anymore. Go on in and finish your Happy Meal. I'll be right in."

     

    2108
    Little Boy - "Daddy, what's that man doing?"
    Daddy - "He's what we call a drug addict, buddy. He's doing a drug called nicotine. Against the law. He's a derelict. Keep away from him."

     

    2208
    Little Girl - "Mommy, what's a cigarette?"
    Mommy - "I don't know sweetie, why don't you Google it?"

     

    Well, there you go. Things are always changing, and someday people will wonder why we did stuff that made us sick. You live and learn. We will all go down as a generation who made discoveries that helped the world. After all, we mapped the genomes, produced ‘Project Runway" and invented the Frito pie.

     

    SalGal

     

     

Published On: October 30, 2008