Woman-on-the-Street Interview…Just Asking…
KK - "Oh, you're still a smoker, aren't you?"
Stranger - "Well, yes, if you must be so impolite, but how can you tell since I
don't have a cigarette in my hand?"
KK - Du'uh...there is an invisible, foul-smelling cloud all around you. May I make a suggestion? This is what Sal used to do after smoking near a group of nonsmokers...
She got some cream that she carried in her purse, rubbing it on her hands to cover the smell on her fingers...then rubbing the excess into her clothing to cover the tobacco odor that had permeated her entire ensemble...then finally rubbing it around her mouth in case someone gave her a hug or wanted to kiss her, and she's still looking for someone who wants to kiss her...but I digress.
Then, she got the small, purse-sized perfume bottle and sprayed her whole upper torso AND her hair because, well that's where the smoke settled."
Stranger - "My GOD, that would take such a friggin long time, and besides, only nonsmokers can tell that I've been smoking, anyway."
KK - "Wrong!"
Stranger - "What do you mean, wrong?? My boyfriend smokes and he can't smell a thing on me."
KK - When was the last time you were, umm, intimate with each other?"
Stranger - I BEG YOUR PARDON!"
KK - Come on, fess up...did you not brush your teeth, wash your hands and perfume powder the wholeness of your body so he wouldn't run screaming from the room?? Of course, the mens never do this. I still can't figure out why they think they needn't clean up, but that's another discussion...WAIT, please don't walk away!"
Stranger - "You're CRAZY! And, I can't IMAGINE why you think you can get me to stop smoking."
KK - "Do you smoke inside your house?"
Stranger - "YES...so what!"
KK - "Have you ever smelled your cat? I'm just sayin...stick your nose down into its fur around the neck, and well, it will make you want another cig, I can tell you that."
Stranger - "I'm going to call the police! You should be put away immediately!"
KK - "Okay, I'll move on, but buy the book, "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Alan Carr. You'll THANK ME!"
Stranger - "Yeah, right!"
Stranger to herself as she walks away, writing down the name of the book and author on the back of her old grocery receipt - "God, what a bitch!
GOOD LUCK ALL!!!!!!!!