New Year's Resolutions:
1. STOP SMOKING
a. start thinking about stopping smoking
b. peruse cessation tools at the drug store
c. begin to pity fellow smokers instead of envy them
d. take a good whiff of my hair after a cigarette...arrrrrgh!
e. remember, smokers are not more fun than nonsmokers
f. convince myself that smokers are not more fun
g. figure out what to start doing with my hands
h. practice doing other things with my hands...not naughty things either!
i. work on my psyche to determine how best to proceed with plan
j. adopt a nonsmoker presence without arrogance...impossible!!
k. pretend to adopt a nonsmoker presence without arrogance
l. pretend to pity fellow smokers
m. pretend to act as a nonsmoker...what does THAT look like?
n. pretend that I can DO this!
o. ask nonsmokers what's so special about not smoking
p. try not to argue my smoking point with nonsmokers...I'll never win
q. pick a quit date on this year's calendar
r. buy the book, "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Alan Carr
s. with cigarette in hand, open the book
t. read the first chapter...gulp!
u. put up post-its all over the house with nonsmoking affirmations
v. check spelling of the word, successful (two c's or one?)
w. bribe myself with $1000 if I make it six months
x. stay away from smokers...but then I'd have no friends
y. threaten smoking friends if they ONCE try to seduce me back
z. feel the FREEDOM of being a nonsmoker...YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Be nicer to The Ancient One.
4. Eat right.
5. Find a man.
6. Yada, yada, yada...