free will(power)

some times you can catch yourself completely off guard by your own actions.  that seems contradictory; by the time you surprise yourself, you're usually in on it.  but i sort of pulled the wool over my own eyes.  i quit smoking back ( i love saying that.  i quit waaaay baaaack) in april.  i went 2 weeks cold turkey.  then i did 5 months on chantix.  then a month on my own.  then back on chantix.  the literature on chantix says that after 12 weeks without smoking you've been sucessful.  i think they recommend taking it for 3 months (which i realize as i'm rereading this is 12 weeks).  but 1 month off and i was going nuts.  i had crazy cravings.  i dreamed, and day dreamed about raiding a smoker keeper. i researched clove cigarettes ( just as, if not more dangerous) and (gasp) marijuana (ditto on the risk)  then i looked into coffee cigarettes.  tried to find out what they were smoking on the (brilliant) AMC television show Mad Men.  finally, i consulted with my cardiologist, rheumatologist, and pharmacist.  and went back on chantix.  i've posted on this experience several times, but i couldn't repeat myself enough times to cover the debt of gratitude i owe to the little blue pill ( little and blue seem to be big hits in the pharmceutical world). then last week i came down with a stomach bug.  because i did suffer from nausea as a side effect i skipped the pill.  then i totally forgot to go back on!  i'm not usually irresponsible with medication and i don't advocate altering a regiment without a doctor's permission.  but it's uncanny.  the cravings have not come back.  so it must be my time.  and that's the point i'm trying to make.  never quit on quitting.  every technique won't work for everyone but one will work for you!  and if it doesn't work the first time, try again.  and if it does work the first time but you find that you need more time, so be it.