Realitty check. and when it comes to weight gain....reality bites.

i'll start be saying that i have ABSOLUTELY no regrets about quitting smoking.  i'm just not super psyched about the weight gain.  now i realize that one thing doesn't have to accompany thr other.  but i was always convinced that it would ( great --ha-ha--excuse #1)  ironically, i didn't gain the weight for about 3 months.  then it just piled on.  i'd like to act like i has NOTHING to do with it.  just bad liuck and freaky metabolism.  but i am eating a lot more.  because i've developed such heart and vascular problems i can't take an "oh well"  attitude.  my cholesterol is creeping up even on medication  and it wasn't even high when i was diagnosed with atherosclorosis!.  so i saw my interist on wendsday.  i had been skipping the scale ( no need to start an eating disorder)  i don't know the number.  if i had to quess it would be 143 on a 5'6 frame.  i am freaked out.  and i found myself really freakin angry at the doctor (shoot the messenger).  really though, he was kind of insensitive.  i walked out convinced that it was my sign to smoke.  that smoking wasn't as dangerous as being overweight.  then i had my reality check.  smoking may have been effective as weight control.  but i realize that i can lose weight without smoking.  and that if i used cigarettes for weight lose i'd never quit.  and i realized that blame is counterproductive, whether i resent my doctor, or even worse, hate myself, it's just a distraction.  eat healthy , exercise, don't smoke.  pretty straight forward.  and only as difficult as i chose to make it.  my idea is to exercise discipline in excercise and health eating.  it'll work.  i'm confident. and the more time on the elliptical the lest time i'm draggin' my life away.  good luck to all.  if anyone has feed back, i could use the support.  or offer it.