How I Finally Quit Smoking

I was a smoker for over 25 years. I smoked about a pack a day and maybe inhaled another pack when I went out drinking. I started smoking when I was 15 years old. I first tried to quit when I was 18.

About 13 years ago, a series of events occurred that finally forced me to face my growing problem with another addiction: alcohol. I also came to realize that I would never quit smoking if I didn’t first stop drinking. And for a long time, I just wasn’t ready to stop drinking, party girl that I was.

Alcoholic woman is what I had become. That was a difficult pill to swallow at first, but with the loving support of friends and family, I slowly came to terms with this reality. When the obsession to drink was finally lifted through the grace of God, I thought I would soon be ready to look at this other problem of mine.

Well, it turned out that quitting drinking was a walk in the park compared to quitting smoking. 
I made hundreds, maybe thousands of attempts to quit smoking in those last few years. Sometimes these attempts lasted hours and sometimes they lasted as long as four or five months. My calendar was littered with quit dates. My body never knew from day to day if it was going to continue its tenuous recovery process or surrender to a fresh assault.

Becoming a mother 11 years ago was a huge turning point in my life. I thought that surely now I would have the monumental inspiration needed to finally quit smoking for good. It didn’t happen that way, although the guilt and self-recrimination really started to hit hard.

My desire to give my daughter the healthiest start possible in life was strong enough to keep me smoke-free during most of my pregnancy. I was also able to remain mostly smoke-free during the time I breast-fed her. But not entirely.

Every time I broke down and had a cigarette, it only made my cravings more intense. The struggle to control my smoking was very difficult, and I just couldn’t seem to stop for good.

I tried nicotine gum, the patch, nicotine inhalers, reading stop-smoking books, writing in a journal, detox teas, toothpicks and carrot sticks, exercise, reading self-help books, vegetarianism, counseling, starting a stop-smoking program at work, eating organic foods, meditation, yoga, lollipops, and Zyban.

I tried prayer, aromatherapy, reading books on understanding addictions, marrying a non-smoker, working a 12-step program, quitting with a buddy, asking my baby daughter for strength, reading books on how women can finally quit smoking, surfing the Web for information, hypnotherapy, chocolate therapy, herbal tonics, the patch again, watching videos on how to quit, buying shorter cigarettes, positive visualization, making bargains with God, switching brands, buying a new car that I vowed never to smoke in (that idea lasted a few weeks anyway), juicing fresh fruits to drink every morning, and writing down all of the reasons I wanted to quit and carrying that list with me.