Saturday, April 19, 2014

Monday, November 01, 2010 Cuddles, Community Member, asks

Q: Isn't a hospice unit obligated to notify a person when they are the POA and the patient dies?

My sister, who is a co-POA put my dad in hospice at the VA when I was on vacation.  She was watching him for a week while I was on vacation.  I am his caregiver and have been for seven years and he wasn't sick when she took him.  Within five days she had him in Hospice and I wasn't notified for two days.  She had the staff remove all his medication.  When I got back I asked what the criteria was for putting him in hospice and they had to admit that he didn't meet the criteria.  They wouldn't let me take him out.  Since they were found out about the criteria, my sib was suppose to look for a nursing home.  Of course she stalled.  He was having fluid build up and they didn't give him diuretics as that was on the no-list.  He essentially drown when his lungs filled with fluid.  I wasn't notified by the hospice unit nor did the family notify me that he was even sick--they notified my aunt and she didn't tell me.  I guess he was failing (with their help) about a week and I wasn't contacted.  I am just devasted that I was denied the chance to say goodbye.  My aunts boyfriend was the one who told me two hours after he died.  The social worker was very hateful to me when I told her that I should have been notified--she told me that my sibs called me.  I have a cell phone and you can tell when someone tries to call.  She called me a liar when I told her I hadn't been contacted and then she proceded to tell my sister who screamed at me for making an issue and called me crazy.  The nursing staff never comforted me--but they were all around my sibs.  I guess my sister, who is quite well off, bought pizza for all three shifts every day.  I cannot get over the fact that I was denied being with dad in his final hours.  I am so devasted.  Please advise me on what to do.

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By Cuddles, Community Member— Last Modified: 11/01/10, First Published: 11/01/10