cant fake it anymore!!! I'm SAD!!!!all the time

sadder then sad Community Member November 03, 2010
  • I have managed to lose all my friends. Depression has made me sad,mad Angry bitchy. tired restless. You name it I feel it. l feel not like Im not  living, just existing. My poor kids and Mother. They walk on egg shells around me. Yes I have reasons to be sad, but outright rude NO EXCUSE. My Sons over in Afganastan. . His choice. he  reenlisted for another 4years. His Birthday is in two weeks. Since he took on a wife, I say it that way because I never met her ,not until 10 days before he deployed. I haven't heard from him. My second child, well he hates me 20 years old and has been in trouble for over 6years now. I love him so much but my depression chased him away. Hes depressed himself, diagnosed with Bi Polar. He won't get help. drinks all the time and blames me for all his problems.He's right. I was always there physically but Mentally never. I've been on everything to try to help me. I also have a 9 year old Daughter,  from another failed Marriage. She's a great girl. I put so much on her. I exspect too much out of that little one. She looks out for me. It's so wrong. I'm mean. I can't seem to fix anything. This SUCKS  PEOPLE... my first time on this sight and I'm afraid all of you first of all won't reply, and second tell me to just snap out of it. Any thoughts out there???

     

5 Comments
  • Merely Me
    Health Guide
    Nov. 04, 2010

    Hi there

     

    No...we won't tell you to snap out of it as that is a tired old cliche which has no meaning.  One cannot snap out of a mood disorder.  Matter of fact one of my first articles for this site was about how ridiculous this "snap out if it" cliche really is.

     

    Sounds like you are tired of the way things are.  Do you have any supports...with...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Hi there

     

    No...we won't tell you to snap out of it as that is a tired old cliche which has no meaning.  One cannot snap out of a mood disorder.  Matter of fact one of my first articles for this site was about how ridiculous this "snap out if it" cliche really is.

     

    Sounds like you are tired of the way things are.  Do you have any supports...with family or friends?  Do you have a therapist?  I would strong encourage you to seek out getting a therapist if you do not have one.  You don't have to suffer like this.

     

    You are doing well to acknowledge that there is a problem and that you don't want to live like this anymore...and more so you also acknowledge that this situation is hurting the ones you love.  It is not too late to turn this around especially for your daughter.

     

    What small steps can you take today to help change your circumstances?  Are you ready to act? 

     

    Let us know more and we will try to provide links to any resources or information you need.

     

    You are definitely not alone in this.  This is a great first step to reach out here.

  • owl
    owl
    Nov. 04, 2010

    hey there, It's about 3.45 in the morning where I am and I found your post. I've only been on here a couple of times but I wanted to say hi.      Your story really touched me. I've had depression about 20 odd years and I have few friends, I think its somewhere between me being scared, me being picky because I'm scared and them not being...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    hey there, It's about 3.45 in the morning where I am and I found your post. I've only been on here a couple of times but I wanted to say hi.      Your story really touched me. I've had depression about 20 odd years and I have few friends, I think its somewhere between me being scared, me being picky because I'm scared and them not being able to handle me. My mum and my brother and sister are all on meds for different types of mental dissorders ( is that what you call whats wrong with us?). They're good people, but man you get us all in a room together and it's not pretty. I don't know why I'm writing to you ...I guess just to tell you that I hear you and I ackowledge your pain and I'm so sorry I can't take it away. I read someone suggested exercise..good idea, when I'm up to it I go for walks (and I force myself when I'm feeling super bad) and I find it helps- I think it probably helps as much as the meds do. I'm not sure any of this is helpful. good luck and thanx for reading my letter. Owl.

  • Marishka
    Nov. 03, 2010

    Hi sadder than sad,

     

    I hear all the pain and difficult emotions you are having right now.  I think many on here do experience much sadness too.  I did today.

     

    I write a little note to myself each day, it says, be gentle and loving and forgiving towards yourself and others.  It is on my to do list.  We are all doing the best we...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Hi sadder than sad,

     

    I hear all the pain and difficult emotions you are having right now.  I think many on here do experience much sadness too.  I did today.

     

    I write a little note to myself each day, it says, be gentle and loving and forgiving towards yourself and others.  It is on my to do list.  We are all doing the best we can every day.  And sometimes life hands us a lot all at once.

     

    It sounds like you are really mad and frustrated by these circumstances in your post.  And understandably.  They are a lot to handle.  My suggestion, easy to give of course, give yourself a break.  You have done many things well I am sure, and everything the best you can.

     

    Feeling down is hard.  Be gentle with yourself.  Treat yourself nicely. 

     

    You could forgive yourself for lashing out when you feel so upset inside.  It is natural. 

     

    This site is supportive.  You will get support and coping skills and feedback here.  You are not alone and as everyone tells me, feelings come and go, this to shall pass.  Write your feelings, questions, opinions on here. People will respond and you will be supported.

     

    sending positive wishes for you,

     

     

     

    Marishka

    • sadder then sad
      Nov. 03, 2010

      Thank you so very much. I feel sorry for myself I think. I put up such a wall I can't even see over it any more. I check my facebook, and my so called friends are deleteing me. It really hurts. I have no friends and it's all my fault. Thanks for answering me. I'm hurting more and more. I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm not going to kill myself, I just could careless...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Thank you so very much. I feel sorry for myself I think. I put up such a wall I can't even see over it any more. I check my facebook, and my so called friends are deleteing me. It really hurts. I have no friends and it's all my fault. Thanks for answering me. I'm hurting more and more. I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm not going to kill myself, I just could careless if I died tonight. That's wrong. I see no future. I'm on Medication. I've gone thru counciling .Nothing makes me feel better. I just lash out and lose people to talk too.

    • Marishka
      Nov. 04, 2010

      Hi sadder than sad,

       

       

       

      My experience is the thoughts our heads need to get out.  Whether on paper journaling or telling someone.  You did that on here, great.  But then there is still some energy in our bodies that needs to get out too.

       

      For this, I walk or run.  Gardening, something physical or creative. Or...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi sadder than sad,

       

       

       

      My experience is the thoughts our heads need to get out.  Whether on paper journaling or telling someone.  You did that on here, great.  But then there is still some energy in our bodies that needs to get out too.

       

      For this, I walk or run.  Gardening, something physical or creative. Or simply let the trees and birds take it from me as I sit quietly in nature.  I talk to them too.  Take photos.  Hike a mountain.  Let your body let go of all the tension.  Easier said than done I know.  I have to do it every day with all my strong emotions.

       

      When I feel completely stuck and angry, I draw what I am feeling. Or write many many pages. It gets it out and on paper.  Then it can be released some it seems.  I will do that today.

       

      Can you afford a massage?  accupuncture?  that has helped me some to release all the pent up energy.  gets expensive though.

       

      hot baths to let out the energy.

       

      Sounds like too much is just stuck inside you.

       

      Get it out!  You may have rage and may be lashing out, but under that, I believe there is peace and love you have for yourself and your family.  Get the toxins out!  And add a few nice things that you can do for yourself today to tell yourself you are good and worthy.  That's what people have told me and I try to do daily and it seems to work.

       

      sending supportive wishes,

       

      Marishka