Living with a Depressed Person

Christopher Lukas Living With It Writer and Director For the past forty years, I have produced, written, and directed... Send Message Subscribe: Christopher Lukas

Thursday, July 31, 2008
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It's time again to talk about an unpleasant subject. Unpleasant for me, and probably unpleasant for those of you who are depressed and have a spouse or lover or companion or partner who is not depressed. I was married for 46 years. My wife died only a few months ago. For many of those years...

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YOUR POST
JENNIFER TURNER
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 at 07:10 PM

HI, I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS GETTING TO READ PEOPLES POSTS SINCE THE WEBSITE CHANGED. I HAVE WEBTV NOT A P C..BUT, I ALWAYS TRY AND GET TO READ YOUR POSTS. MY HUSBAND OF 45 YEARS GETS UP EARLY IN THE A.M. SINGING...WHILE I TAKE MY TIME AND I CERTAINLY DONT START SINGING. TO ME..SINCE I,M DEPRESSED I SEE THE WORLD IN A COMPLETELY DIFERANT WAY. I SAY OH, I DONT EVEN WANT TO GET OUT OF BED...SOMEDAYSI DONT. MY WORLD CHANGED JULY 4 OF THIS YEAR. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK..WE DID NOT KNOW IT BECAUSE HE HAD NO PAIN...4 NIGHTS LATER HE HAD ANOTHER ATTACK..AND WENT TO THE ER AT THE HOSPITAL...WAS ADMITTED..AFTER A LOT OF TESTS..HE WENT THROUGH ANGIOPLASTY AND MAYBE HAS A NEW CHANCE TO LIVE..THE POINT I,M TRYING TO MAKE IS FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS IT HAS BEEN ALL ABOUT ME AND MY HEALTH PROBLEMS...I FEEL ENORMOUS GUILT AT MYSELF BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE MY GLOOMY OUT LOOK AT LIFE HAS BROUGHT HIS SPIRITS DOWN.. I DONT KNOW HOW TO FAKE A HAPPY FACE...I NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO HANDLE MY DEPRESSION AND KEEP HIS SPIRITS UP AT THE SAME TIME. I AM ON MEDS. BUT SO MUCH STRESS IN MY LIFE HAS JUST ABOUT MADE ME GIVE UP ON MYSELF...I,M SO SORRY TO BE TAKING UP THIS SPACE TYPING ABOUT ME WHEN I SHOULD BE TRYING TO COME UP WITH WORDS TO HELP YOU. GOD BLESS YOU AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS WITH PEOPLE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW LIKE ME....JENNIFER TURNER

re: YOUR POST
lukandluk
Thursday, September 11, 2008 at 05:49 PM

Dear Jennifer Turner:

One of the most difficult things about being depressed is that you're already suffering from guilt. it goes with the territory; just like anxiety goes with the territory.

So I'm certainly not going to say to you that you SHOULD have treated your husband better, or that you SHOULD give up some of your depression and your worries.

If you could do it just by willpower, you certainly would have done it years ago.

But I do want you to know it's POSSIBLE to do so. Somehow, many of us do get to change both our behavior and our thinking. Little by little. It's never too late. There's no miraculous way to do it. But it can happen.

C.L.

re: re: YOUR POST
JENNIFER TURNER
Tuesday, September 23, 2008 at 10:05 AM

THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM. GOD BLESS YOU ...JENNIFER TURNER

Thank you for sharing this...
Merely Me
Thursday, August 28, 2008 at 07:22 AM

I just wanted to say how very sorry I am that you lost your wife. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and loss you must feel. You are so right that depression can color our world so much that it sometimes clouds over reality. We constantly are dwelling on the what ifs instead of being present in the here and now to enjoy things. Your words are very wise. They serve as a reminder to me to try to be more present with my family and friends. Thank you for sharing your story.

this means alot
Danny G.
Thursday, August 28, 2008 at 09:10 PM

You have opened my eyes once again. I hear your words through unstuffed ears.

I too have been reclusive too long. Now I must speak to the women who stands

besides me. I must tell her, ...how thankful I am for having her. More importantly,

I must take action to show her. Thank you - Danmy G.