The Good Days

Thank you for your post, I am writing this because I am going through a difficult time and I know I need to reach out somewhere and haven't been able to really explain to people what I am going through. I hate to lable myself but I would say..depression has got me in its grip at the moment...so just thanking you for your post, it's interesting to hear your experience. When you say hard work what sorts of things do you mean?

HELLO AGAIN, I ALWAYS LOVE TO READ WHAT YOU WRITE. IT HELPS ME IN SOME KIND OF WAY THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND...I HAVE BEEN IN THE DEEPEST DEPRESSION THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN.....I JUST ASKED GOD TO TAKE ME TO HEAVEN SO I CAN BE OUT OF THIS WORLD. THAT WAS LAST WEEK...I AM FEELING SOME WHAT BETTER NOW AND WELL, GOD DID,NT ANSWER THAT PRAYER,,AT LEAST NOT IN THE WAY I THOUGHT I WANTED HIM TO...I CAME BACK TO THIS SITE AND READ ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR TROUBLES AND I KNOW THAT I AM NOT ALONE. JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL WAY YOU CAN WRITE AND REACH OUT TO SOMEONE YOU DONT KNOW......GOD BLESS YOU........JENNIFER

Hi, Thank you for your post.  It helped me feel better.  I do feel like the world, my world has been so unfair and I suppose it has like yours has and that is just the truth. But my thinking about it is what needs to change like you mention.  I am working on it. And we have to accept it.  And smell the roses and dance in the rain anyway.  It is hard to do of course but we can and with inspiration like you, it makes it seem more doable too.  Thank you.  I am confused about sites--are there different mydepressionconnection.com sites? other my....connection.com sites?

Thank you.

Hi,  Thank you for your post.    Yes, my thoughts are telling me I should be stronger, better this and better that.  More this and more that.  I am 40, have had severe depression since I was 19, have not been able to do much since I have never really gotten treatment for it--no one knew what was wrong, blamed it on me, ignored it and me, non emotionally supportive family- emotionally abusive. 

I am 40 now.  I still rely on my parents financially because I do not want to be in the streets and am still very sick. That is the one thing they have given to me- continual financial help (with abuse attached though)--kind of a curse and blessing though, as no emotional support was available, but rather severe abuse-- and no setting to build confidence in myself.  All this took its toll on me, my self-esteem and I have been struggling financially for 20 years. They have helped me financially and continue to and especially after I tried to take my life after 20 years of almost nonstop suffering, the last 7 increasingly unbearable.

They are now getting old, 80 and 74.  I feel I "should" be established, independent, healthy and helping them.  But I have done all I could do--survive a very harsh upbringing and barely.  I am trying to reframe any negative about myself to positive. I am accepting the help from them because I think being on the street is more unacceptable than continuing to get help (and I am trying to think about it in a positive way- any ideas appreciated). 

I know I am a good person with a good heart, smart and with a lot of potential,  but have not been able to express this in any way as much as I would like in the world, towards others,  towards myself or towards  them because I have barely been alive with my condition and no help all this time.

I think my thinking is getting better-I am thinking that I am a good daughter, friend, person, employee, etc etc etc and would be good wife, mother etc.  I feel guilty about not being better though and further along and healthier and helping them instead of their still helping me--I wish I were stronger, better but also I acknowledge my incredible bravery and strength just to survive what I have.

Would appreciate any feedback and ideas!

Thank you- your post inspired me

Cheers,

Marishka