So before I had my baby July of last year my husband started seeing an old female friend. He was emailing her constantly. I had access to his email and began reading their correspondences. I did not like what I saw and confronted him about it. He told me he would stop talking to her. He lied. He proceeded to talk to her and delete his messages. He even went as far as to stage an email with her saying he couldn't talk to her anymore only to continue there after. I knew they were still talking and even gave him an out basically saying they could talk to eachother. He said no. Long story short, this situation blew up in his face and we discussed it. I have been having trouble trusting him ever since. My baby is now ten months old and everytime my husband is out of my sight I picture him with her. He assures me they were/are nothing but friends, but I am having trouble believing him. Sometimes I feel like I'm being neurotic other times I feel I should trust my gut. Not sure what I expect from this rant but had to get it off my chest.
Where to begin...
This sounds like a lot to deal with, along with a new baby. This early stage in a child's life is, I think, about the most difficult because it is such a huge change to your whole lifestyle and your relationship with your spouse. You might even be experiencing some postpartum depression, which is not to minimize how you're feeling, because it sounds like there is a problem with trust. Do you think you could get your husband to go with you to a couple's therapist? My husband and I have found this a good place that's safe where we can talk about things that maybe seem too frightening at the time and then we find out where each other is coming from and it puts everything into a different perspective. We're still doing this and we've been married for almost 37 years! I guess that illustrates that there's always work involved in a relationship and sometimes it's good to have help. I wish you the best in resolving this with your husband, as this will be good for your child, as well.
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Hi there
I imagine that you must feel very hurt and also worried about what may come next with your husband's behavior.
And it is especially difficult, I am sure, because you are focused on caring for your baby.
It may be time to really talk and find out what may have lured him to seek out such conversations and to set some boundaries as far as what you will put up with and what you will not.
I do hope things work out. Thank you for sharing your story here.