Can sexual abuse and family problems cause relationship commitment issues?

of the choices that we make and this is all that we control. Today I choose to cleanse my house. Will that only affect me? No. It will affect anyone that notices that I acomplished this task. Every single relationship that you have no matter how short it is will have some sort of effect on you. In your letter to me you seem to have the need to be in a relationship with someone. Check into someone to talk to, friend or counselor or therapist. HHopefully this helps,

Pat

Wow... I think that yes, sexual abuse does impact your relationship. Why wouldn't it? You didn't actually mention any abuse in your multiple relationships--but I think you may have been victim of some?

Just stick with one guy!! One boyfriend is hard enough...

I was sexually abused when I was younger by my father and I was raped at a young age as well. I have found that this lead to my "experimentation" with dating women, then when I realized that was only because I was afraid of men. Now, in my current relationship, of 6 years, I found that it took  about 3 years for me to deal with my issues. I thankfully have a boyfriend that was willing to put up with my "issues". The key was communication. I told him about my past and how I was feeling about our relationship. Communication and time is what did it for me. Now, if I can just deal with my bipolar depression, all will be well.....

you are so young, and if you asked other young people about their romances you would find its pretty much the same. The abuse you suffered has contributed to this fact at a certain degree, you need to feel loved, and anyone thats going to say they love you is a shoe in.Being abused you need to be loved[mostly by older men] it was probably an older man that did it, I dont know why it just is. You will keep on doing this untill you find the man that was meant to be the one.Obviously the men in your life arn't fulfilling you enough, so the only thing you can do is walk away, I know its hard but you have to, or you'll see these problems will never go away. Somewhere out their is your soul mate, you just have to have the patience to find him. You will know, thats why its called womens intuition. I too was abused, you never get over it,you just learn to live with it.

I just saw this today.  I hope you are not married yet.  If so you will just have to have that as an added issue.  In any case, as a therapist with 40 years of experience, it seems quite clear to me that you truly need to take a deep breath and try to find a GOOD therapist to work with you on the issues you described.

Clearly, abuse and family issues have a powerful impact on the way you are in intimate relationships in particular.  I work with many women that have similar situations but are much older than you.  They have suffered tremendously. (Women who were abused are at least 3 times as likely to divorce or have affairs than those that weren't).  Do your self a BIG favor and find a GOOD therapist ASAP and save yourself a lot of heart ache by dealing with these issues NOW!  Best wishes.