Dear Screaming,

I am so glad you found this sight.  You are not alone in this struggle with Depression.  In light of the Economic Situation and all the stressors, especially the weather here in Michigan hasn't been the most promising.  I have a hard time with holidays and whatnot because I lost my Mother 3 1/2 yrs ago but am still struggling with it.  On Christmas Day I laid on my bed and cried thinking of what we used to do of going to Mom's every year.  I was invited away but I didn't feel like "intruding" on another family.  On January 3rd, which would have been my mother's birthday, the family decided to have our "Christmas".  It was hard for me to keep my emotions in check especially when my sister handed out our scrapbooks and baby books that Mom made for us. 

I believe you'll find help on here so keep up the good work!

If it's helpful in your situation (I'm not exactly clear on your situation), you may be eligible for State, and then after a year, Federal (meaning Social Security) Disability.  You can call the main state government phone number, or Google "[your state] disability benefits information" or a similar phrase, and get the information that way.  I ended up on state, then federal disability back in....around '95 because of severe clinical major depresion.  It's a valid reason for receiving disability.  I'm still on it.  My depression is in that class that never lets up, and is extremely hard to treat.  I hope you don't have that kind, and I don't think you have to have that kind to be eligible for disability, because we didn't know it was that kind back then.

Maybe this will be helpful in the future if it isn't now, or maybe it will be helpful for someone else.

All the best to you.

Hello,

Your story brings tears to my eyes and I wish I could give you a hug.  I am a 40 year old very happy woman with a beautiful family and have also never been on any sites.  At times I feel that I am exactly in your shoes and it seems to come and go for no real apparent reason, since I was a teen.  I've always kind of hid it well and have never considered a doctor, but finally at my age, I think that it really is a chemical imbalance and I probably would have benefitted from seeing one.  I hope you do, as someone has stated.  But be careful to get a good one and careful about the medications.

With my beautiful kids, I've really had to dig deep and find out how to rid myself of, at least symptoms of, depression, for their sakes.  Something that GREATLY helps me is to cut out most of the sugar in my diet.  And I've found consistent exercise to be a huge benefit, too.  Also, my catholic faith has been a huge savior for me.  I found a church with a wonderfully guiding priest and it changed my life.  Also, volunteering and keeping yourself busy with charitable and other activities is great.  Keep yourself active in different groups.  Give yourself a push everyday.  Consistency helps.  And being around others a lot, rather than a little, makes all the difference.  It gets you used to others and makes you realize you are not so different, you get to understand why and how things come about in relationships.  Try giving to others and being thankful for all the good things instead of feeling sorry for yourself and sad.

Also, have you ever read the guru Tony Robbins?  I know it sounds corny, but he is really motivational.  When starting his program, he says to take one week and try to not have any negative thoughts about anything.  Maybe one of his books would help.

Good luck.  Take hold of yourself.