TOO MANY STRESSORS CAUSING WORSENING OF DEPRESSION

By KAT.HUGHES Monday, March 14, 2011

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Hi! I have had a real rough time this year. I suffer from severe depression on and off but it tends to reinvigorate itself more when I hit a major crisis. My crisis is unemployment, as well I had a triple whammy with my husband recently getting laid off, dealing with aging parents, one with severe copd and another with possible lung cancer. I am also caregiving to my parents and than in itself is a major deal. Because of all this I feel like I have aged 10 years in the last 6 months. Its no wonder my depression has gotten steadily worse. I have suffered with depression since child hood but it doesn't really manifest itself until your older. In my case, my early 30's, my real first major melt down. Was put on zoloft which helped tremendously and was functioning for quite some time. I am so tired and burnt out and feel worse by the day. I cannot handle any more crisises and if something else comes up , well, who knows. My depression as I said tends to get worse as I get older and more frequent and severe. Can anyone relate to what I'm talking about? I sure hope I am not alone on this.

Comments (11) | Add comment

pamela

3/15/11 11:20am

I can relate to what you're going through. I am also unemployed for over a year now - and I believe/know this has made my depression worse because of the circumstances in which I became unemployed.. I worry that my boyfriend will be laid off anytime, he hasn't been hired permanently yet.. My mother suffered before she past away 11yrs ago. She to had depression, parkinsons and brain degeneration. I hated to see her like that, she wasn't herself. She requested to be put in an infirmary. I don't know if it was her or her sister who really requested because my mom wasn't really talking anymore at that time.. It was very stressful. At the same time my marriage had ended. I understand about you feeling like you have aged 10yrs in 6 months.. I'm going to counseling. It helps to talk to someone, to have support... It's been a struggle to get there since I don't have a car and I feel a bother to ask anyone,, but I have to go knowing I will feel better.. Maybe you should go to your doctor and change your medication or the dosage. I find other things to do that I really enjoy - art, walking, music and watching funny shows or movies. I force myself to get out with other people..--seriously to get my mind off my problems..

KAT.HUGHES

3/15/11 8:44pm

Hi! Thanks for your insight. I have already made the first step in getting myself fixed as u suggested. Today I went to the dr just bawling my eyes out finding out not only that my mum is seriously ill but my dad was just diagnosed with lung cancer; major shock to say the least. Well that was it for me, the final straw with us not working plus that. The doctor put me on a new med, anti-anxiety pill, plus sleeping pills so i can get some rest, being tired all the time definitely does not help when a person is already depressed and burnt out. Plus tomorrow I will be going for counselling with my psycholgoist. He does help me because he helps me put things into perspective and calms me down. I will just have to see him more during this bit of crisis. I am also trying to get to the gym to work out as much as I can that is a big stress reliever. I still need to work on getting on to be with more people. More socialization. Being depressed also brings down your self esteem and confidence so it can be hard to socialize. But one step at a time. The new meds and counselling is the biggest start than I will try to continue from there. It is tough! I can tell u though that I have at several times turned to booze because I just didn't know what to do, but all it does is makes things worse. Definitely not a good thing to do as it just acts as a depressant, as I found out. So trying the new route by seeing a dr, getting meds and seeing a psychologist is much better medicine.

Merely Me, Health Guide

3/15/11 8:15pm

Hi Kat

You really do have so much on your plate...so many stressors. It is no wonder that all of this is creating emotional havoc for you. You are caring for so many people...who is caring for you? It is a problem many women and men face...when they become the "sandwich generation."

I am wondering if you are taking Zoloft now? Is this a possibility to take an antidepressant to help you get through this rough time?

There may be something to your theory about feeling more depression as we get older...especially women. I don't know how old you are but hormones can really affect your mood no matter what age you are but particularly as you hit the years of perimenopause. Mood swings can become more pronounced.

Let us know more about what is going on and maybe we can steer you towards some resources to help. Feel free to write here any time. Many of our members can relate to your story.

KAT.HUGHES

3/15/11 9:14pm

Hi! I used to be on Zoloft but now I am on Cipralex. I think I need to use a larger does. As I still don't feel so great. I am also wondering because I am in my early 50's if I am going through early menopause; those raging hormones can really reck havoc on your body, weight gain, moodiness, etc. It is hard for me to tell at this point as I had uterine abulation done (lazer surgery on the uterus) where a person no longer gets a menstral cycle when I was 40, so I can't tell acutally if that is what I am going through on top of everything else. When a persons cycle stops thats usually a good indication. I will be seeing my gyne shortly to try to find out if I actually am going through it. Hopefully or he can put be on something . So far I don't get the usual night sweats that are supposed to come with it. I also need to follow up with a massive medical work up as there could also be all sorts of other medical problems going out of wack that i don't know about like thryoid etc. Throid problems can really cause problems. But first I will get on to my new meds I got from my GP today, see my psychologist, than the Gyne. Once thats all done and I am in the clear and feel better about myself, than I can maybe think about employment. It will be a long road ahead. I wish I could fix myself up ovenite. Unfortunately things don;t work that way! I do try to go and get a work out in the gym once in awhile which can be a stress reliever, I;ll have to try more often.

KAT

Donna-1

3/24/11 8:57am

I'm glad to see you are getting help on the sleep issue. It helps so much to get a good night's sleep every night. Leaves you rested and better able to take on the challenges of the day. If the increased dose of antidepressant doesn't work effectively enough, sometimes a second can be added. I take Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Saphris, Trazodone, and Klonopin to make it through the day. And I need all of them. For a long time, I fought medication but now feel blessed and relieved that I have it.

I am 52 and my sister died of cirrhosis of the liver in 2004, then my favorite uncle died, then my father died of Alzheimer's and a staph infection in early 2005. My mother rapidly lost weight, although her health stayed good for a few years. But last year she broke her hip and now has arthritis in most of her joints, and week before last she fell again and broke her back. Tomorrow, my brother is taking her for a procedure where they inject bone cement into the broken vertebra to stabilize the fracture and hopefully stop the pain. I have been living with her since the 8th of this month (when she fell) and am sorely in need of a surrogate caregiver for a while! My sister is spending the night with Mom tonight, my brother will be with her tomorrow and tomorrow night, then I will come back Saturday. It is like a mini-vacation! But it has been a real eye-opener to see how really fragile and needy Mom is. Right now, she can't bend over and pick up anything she drops on the floor. She can't do any lifting of course, can't drive, has to use a walker to just get around the house, and can't make it to the bathroom in time some nights. But she is a real fighter. She teaches children to sew (36 kids a week) in her house and hasn't stopped doing that yet, even with a broken back. I am down in my back and having bad hip and leg pain right now myself (probably from lifting her) and don't know how she continues to work. I am fortunate that I don't have to work and I still have an income, enough to support myself. Now, however, I am thinking about whether I should move in with Mom. It will all be according to whether this back procedure works enough to get her on her feet again. I really need a place/time of my own every day, at least part of the day.

I am so sorry to hear about your parents' illnesses. Yes, a double-whammy. As if one wasn't enough, you feel like all their burdens have become yours as well. There is the dealing with their finances, setting up wills and living wills and durable power of attorney for healthcare and all these entail. Helping them make decisions about their own care is tough, too. I have my mother's power of atty for healthcare, as I did my dad's, and will have to make her medical decisions for her when she is temporarily or permanently unable to do so herself.

Fortunately, in November I found a medication, Saphris, that enables me to sleep through the night, for at least 6-7 hrs a night, when that hadn't happened in years. It also gives me energy (maybe the sleep helps?) to do all that needs to be done and more self confidence to do it, plus God has given me a sense of peace and calm to ride out the storms of life. I find that meditation and yoga and exercise and eating the right stuff (I just found out I am anemic) all do their part in relieving the effects that stress has on my body and mind and spirit.

Best wishes to you. Please keep coming to this site to let us know what is going on, and for the support you so desperately need.

KAT.HUGHES

3/28/11 9:11pm

Thank you for your insight and I am glad that I am not alone in this. I have been so busy with my mother that I have practically no time for anything else. I just came home from her house after a day of appointments and looking after her and what have you; the second i I got in the door she was already phoning me before i could even sit down. She asked me and my daughter to move in with her while my husband is away out of town working. I was advised it wouldn't be a good idea and that I need my own time and space with my own daughter. If we moved in; well I can just imagine; If I am tired now it would be twice as bad if I moved in with her and I definitely would have severe burn out as she is quite a demanding women. I also checked with Home Care about some social support for myself only they told me it can't be legally provided without them getting my mother involved and her permission and she would have to be physically present with me. That didnt make me feel too great and my family physician is getting kind of, well lets say at his wits end and really doesn't have time to provide support. So where can a person really go other than here, on-line. Dr's are either too busy or there are legal issues involved somewhere down the line. Anyway there is a piece of good news which helps things, my dads lung tumors turned out to be beign and they can operate and remove them. Boy I can't tell you want a relief that was. 10 lbs off my shoulders, gone. That is a blessing.

I am also taken an added dose of my anti-depressants which seem to be helping me cope a lot better. It is probably a good thing I am not working because the depression thing can really cause problems on the job, like getting fired or whatever. You want your mind to be in good working order mentally and emotionally before attempting to get back in the work force, for which obviously i am not ready; but I do feel better and I work out in the gym and that is a plus. I heard yoga is supposed to be really good as well. I will consider taking that up as well or at least trying it.

Anyway thanks again for your input. I appreciate it and it does help.

Take Care

KAT

Donna-1

3/29/11 8:09am

It's very good to hear your father's tumors are benign. I also have good news about my mother -- the bone cementing procedure done on her spine worked very well and she is already off the pain meds and doing things for herself once again. Today I go home...until the next crisis. And that's just the way life is. We have to cope with one thing at a time, as it comes, and know that God will give the peace and calm we need as well as the strength.

KAT.HUGHES

3/31/11 9:51pm

its good to hear your mum is doing better. I bet once she's able to do more things on her own she will really appreciate things even more. I guess we all take life for granted until something happens to change all that, crisis's etc. Your right about taking one thing on at a time. I am finding if you don't you can get so overwhelmed your head goes spinning and you can't think straight. The strongest person I know and I certainly wish i could be like him instead of a depressed basket case is actually my dad, who not only had to endure what we thought was a maglinancy but he suffered a severe stroke seven years ago, ri sided paraylsis, and macular degeneration in his eyes and you should see him today. Most people who suffered these things would be in a nursing home sitting in a wheel chair, he never gave up; he walks with a cane and has learned to use his bad arm to the best of his ability and his eyes he goes for laser treatment which helps alot. He goes out every day with other retirees ; although he can't drive he is still out and about and living in his own home, i think this is all due to his shear stubborness. He is of german descent and they are as tuff as they come. I wish I could be like that instead of thinking why does this happen to me all the time or why doesn't things go right. If my dad thought like that I think he would have passed away long ago. So I need to try and use him as an example. I just wanted to share this little bit of info.

Take Care! Kat!

Stilljustagirl

3/31/11 10:30pm

Been on 40mg Paxil for 15 years and has cured me of anxiety attacks and most depression. After many triggers, we decided to add klonopin to the mix and I really take only 1/2 tablet as needed.

Well this week major events in my life have put me to the point that I need to add the klonopin at full tablet and it really helps. The 1/2 takes the edge off, but thise week I need help functioning and the full klonopin tablet is taking care of that. I'm hoping this will resolve itself in the near future, as even during cancer treatment I didn't need whole klonopin tablets to help me through a tough time. I'm thinking I'm okay at this level, but wish myself luck because I don't want to add more to mix unless absolutely necessary.

KAT.HUGHES

4/ 9/11 11:26pm

HI! I too have doubled my dose of an antidepressant; ciprplex plus was put on an anti-anxiety drug called clonazepam as well as a sleeping pill, because i wasn't getting a good nites sleep. If u don't get a good nites sleep that makes things even worse; its called zopiclone. That really works wonders for me. I still feel kind of sad and still not quite myself but at least I am managing now and things are not so unnerving.

Take Care KAT!

dinahnow

7/16/11 1:47pm

I've been on Seroxat/Paxil 30mg for years now, for depression/anxiety (caused by my feelings about the past (which causes depression, that which cannot be changed) and the future (which I feel I have no control over, hence anxiety). What has made a tremendous difference to both for me has been a small book called 'Practising The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. It has 'saved me', and whenever I fall into depression or anxiety, I go to bed and just read some of it, and it always brings me back to a sense of peace. I'm still taking Seroxat (15 years) which definitely 'saved me' from the mental anguish of breakdowns when we experience such depression/anxiety that takes all energy and hope away - but this book (do look it up, or listen to him on YouTube talking about his take on life) is a really powerful tool alongside the medication.

TOO MANY STRESSORS CAUSING WORSENING OF DEPRESSION

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