The Holiday Blues

• Organize a Christmas caroling party .



• Watch holiday specials like “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” or “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” (and ignore the commercials). Read Charles Dickens' “A Christmas Carol.” or The Gift of the Magic .



• Rediscover the spiritual aspects of the holidays. Find out what activities are planned at your church or religious center. My family used to attend a candlelight service at church every Christmas Eve that was one of highlights of the season for me.

Grieving
The first holiday season spent without someone who's died during the previous year can be very rough. Any aspect of the season that's normally joyous is inevitably touched with sadness, as every special event serves to remind you that that person is not here to share it.

If this is your first holiday season without someone you've lost, face it head on. If you try to ignore your feelings, the pain will just fester. Think about how you want to mark their passing or honor them during the season. Discuss it with family or friends who were close to them. It could be a healing experience for all involved.

Toxic Family
Are the holidays bringing you in touch with family who you would rather slug than hug? Many people have a relative who they dread coming into contact with. It could be the brother who insists on controlling every aspect of the holiday get-togethers or the grandmother who drinks too much and gets belligerent, or even the uncle who molested them.

Try not to let this person or people ruin your holidays. If possible, limit the amount of time you spend with them. Why spend time with a toxic person just out of obligation? In addition, you might want to talk to a therapist or your pastor/priest/spiritual leader and practice coping skills.

Material Dissatisfaction
If the barrage of commercials has served to remind you of what you don't have, you're not alone. But again, if marketers and advertisers didn't make you feel that way, then they would not have done their job well. Consider volunteering at a shelter to serve the holiday dinner or buy a present for a child in need through a Toys for Tots program. It's a productive way to get some perspective on how much you do have, and it really does feel great. You could also weep your way through the ending of "It's a Wonderful Life" and remember that family and friends are the true riches.

Staying Healthy
Treat your body better than you usually do, not worse. Exercise (or at least take a walk occasionally) and get plenty of rest. Even if you feel that you can't spare those precious extra hours, getting enough sleep will make you more effective when you're awake. Also try to maintain a balanced diet. Too many carbohydrates and sugar versus too few fruits, veggies and protein will leave you feeling tired and cranky. Stay away from alcohol. Put simply, alcohol is a depressant. It definitely won't help your mood, except temporarily.
Finally, if you feel blue, don't beat yourself up about it. A certain amount of melancholy is not going to ruin the entire holiday season for you. Just let yourself feel it and move past it.